tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459881921895838702024-03-19T16:13:55.951-07:00I've got two words for youUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-25222913621269893402024-01-01T06:01:00.000-08:002024-01-01T11:24:03.524-08:00Here we go again!<p> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">And now 2024.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I'm not sad to see the door slamming into the ass-end of 2023 as it gathers its trailing filth and prepares its exit. It holds fiercely to the last minute, surveying the chaotic mess it is leaving and I </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">feel </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">its rabid smirk. Its work is done, I guess.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">So the nightmare year saunters casually out and leaves us memories of the lost, their essences hovering and wafting around us. How can they be gone? They were impactful, necessary, all.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">It's like losing fucking limbs.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">2023 let only a couple of good things sneak by its viciously guarded troll-bridge.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A baby. Significant, adored.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">An oracle named Charles, who could have changed the course of my life if I'd had his brand of wisdom and clarity when I was eleven, before ...</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Two people firmly united against cruel exaggerations and outright lies that left a tsunami of havoc that even eventual honesty couldn't fully repair. Sadly, the most innocent suffered the most damage and the healing is slow - but thankfully steady. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But two people </span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">are </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">reborn. So thanks.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A soul-freeing admission that I am capable of feeling deep hate as well as deep love. Oh, and of honesty, see?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A renaming ceremony on July 4, </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Am-Elle-ican Independence Day, celebrating </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">"L " (ta, Bob) who became Elle decades ago on the inside, but was cowed by fear of hurting others. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Sad in retrospect because I know now they wouldn't have been hurt at all. Hell, they wouldn't even have noticed.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">The name </span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">is </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">mine. And there's a certain irony which </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">could </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">have ruined it, but somehow it made me laugh. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">The </span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">name</span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">...</span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">is mine. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Just like all the other stuff. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Mysterious things, I guess and they must remain so. At least, until the private proliferation of prose and poems are published and public - probably posthumously! š</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">(How's that, Bob?š)</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And so now 2024 is born. Here the smooth, flawless face of the newborn, its breath milk-sweet and its serene eyes filled with promise. How will it grow, mature, and then age?</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Could 365 short days make the innocent babe mimic its demonic predecessor?</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Would it be somehow bearable? Again?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Resolutions, you now ask, fascinated reader.š</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Well, ok.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Stop fighting and embrace the beautiful and intractable bitch within.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Believe Charles.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Write, paint, draw, read, ponder, plan, prepare and throw shit away.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Relax.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Oh yeah and that whole 10-15 pound thing ...again!š</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Happy New Year to everyone - almost. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Oh come on! <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>If we're </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">really </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">honest, there's always at least one, right?š¤£</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">š„ to you, 2024. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Bring it on!</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-90969429028588166492020-01-31T11:23:00.001-08:002020-01-31T11:28:53.899-08:00Please donāt suck,2020Itās the end of January and Iām off to a very shaky start to the year. The first surgery, a simple carpal tunnel release, went fine, but because I have a small tear in a thumb ligament as well, I have been put into a hard cast while everything heals. Fine! Sigh! I mean you have to assume that these people all know what they are doing, right?!? š¤. But the cast feels tight and uncomfortable and my thumb feels like itās been cast into a very odd position. Itās all somewhat painful and the tingling and numbness is still there. Ortho surgeon assures me all normal after the surgery I had. š¤·āāļø<br />
<br />
And then my left hand got pissy about picking up the slack while the right hand was resting, so it decided to swell up around the arthritic joint and now itās in a soft splint as well. Gives you quite a new appreciation for your hands really!!š¤£š¤£<br />
<br />
So itās quiet here. I have Mike, books, a TV with lots of shit on it, cats and dog to cuddle. My mamaās health has taken a turn as well, so Iām sad as well as in pain.<br />
I am like a bear with a sore head though ā I kinda like to curl up alone and make sense of all this. Donāt really need too much company while I work through all these new year issues.<br />
Love yāall though and I hope your 2020 is getting off to a more auspicious beginning than mine is!š<br />
Back in some kind of circulation soon, I promise!<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-78945152063228843652018-03-21T16:28:00.001-07:002018-03-21T16:28:38.600-07:00You know...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Iām an avid writer when Iām upset about anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not for public purposes, just for my own
therapeutic purposes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Iām gone, the
kids are going to find endless little notes/essays/rants, and they can be
entertained/surprised!</div>
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But I wanted this one to be public. Hugely, publicly public!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because what I really want is to shout this
unfair/shitty situation from the public rooftops, and since thatās not the
correct thing to do, Iām just going to leave it where it MAY or may not be ever
seen. Here!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, here is better, here
where it feels public, but no one ever really<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>visits! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that will have to
do.</div>
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I had a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
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ravages of this world, a belief in good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And, I thought, an understanding of each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew she was more socially minded than I,
and she knew I was more insular, less inclined to socialize so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was ok, I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I once stayed on the phone with her when she
was dangerously depressed, knowing her husband was on his way home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dropped my own travel plans (she never
knew!) to feed her animals when her mother became suddenly ill and she had to
go.</div>
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And she once saved my life during a terrible, turbulent time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I loved her for that, then and now.</div>
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There were other things I merely tolerated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her unfortunate tendency toward extreme
selfishness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her way of saying things
that were thoughtless and hurtful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I
forgave, and I assume she disliked parts of me, and she forgave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because we were friends. </div>
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And then there came a time when I was in dire straits,
emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We lost somebody who
shouldnāt have been lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He mattered
terribly to me and to many others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
child (though not my own) who seemed <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so like
my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was shattered to my core, and
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many, many, many long months.</div>
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And then my Mum became ill in the middle of it all, and gave
me another terrible jolt. And a couple of days after that, my friend called in
need of help.</div>
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The quick back story is that she had a relative who had a
child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This relative was troubled and
troublesome. My friend had told me many,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>MANY times that she was not a person to be trusted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had stolen from everyone who had helped
her, including my friend, and had caused a great deal of misery for a great
many people.</div>
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I was asked a favor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Could I go immediately and retrieve this relative and her child from a
domestic violence situation an hour and a half away.</div>
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I rarely say no to people in need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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But this was one of those occasions when I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told my friend to call the cops instead, if
her relative was in danger. I told her I couldnāt help when the outcome for me
and mine could be robbery/physical harm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I apologized but told her my own emotional state had to come first this
time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that was that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During a long year of suffering, I went to ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldnāt seem to recover from the terrible
grief I was suffering, although I continued to fake it when I had to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to Australia, reconnected with my Mum
and family, and came home again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
suffered, but slowly, slowly, I started to recover.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then, a year or so in, I wrote an email.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I apologized to my dear friend for my
absence. I explained everything, as you do with a bestie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I laid my heart bare to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And apologized again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I waited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And several days later, I received her gut-wrenching reply. It was
filled with āunderstanding.ā<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
filled with āforgiveness.ā<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And thenā¦ she said that although she did understand and forgive,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ours was not a friendship she had an interest
in renewing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That she preferred to
surround herself with people who had a better idea of give and take in
relationships than I had shown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she
wished me well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then, her self-congratulations about her magnitude in
forgiving someone who had hurt her so badly covered her social media for
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How proud she was of herself. And then
I watched how her 'real' friends rallied and congratulated her too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And how inordinately sad I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How my faith in human nature was shattered as
I watched her, so pleased with herself, still believing her own much-touted
creed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not seeingā¦</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes, I wish Iād told her some stuff over the
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How whenever she told me that yet
another āfriendā had hurt her feelings, had dumped her, had been cruel, that in
each tearfully related incidence, I could have told her why they did it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And how it was always understandable when you
looked at it from another angle. Was it a friendās duty to tell her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To have shown her she wasnāt always quite as
loving/nurturing as she thought she was?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I still donāt know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish Iād told her how my feelings were hurt every time she
told me in detail about her friend/arty group that met often, and never once
invited me along, even knowing Iād lost a tribe when I moved too, just as she
had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might have liked it. Like I said,
Iām not crazy social but Iād have liked the opportunity to find out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās been another year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I unfriended her on FB because it seemed like the right thing to do. Why
be hypocritical, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I deleted tons
of written but unsent emails, which ranged from conciliatory and explanatory to
vicious and biting ā none worth sending; sheād made the bed that we both now
lie in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Truth is, I hope sheās happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish often that I could just text her and
find out how sheās doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish she
still cared how Iām doing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Truth is, I miss her a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that, according to a counselor I asked, is what is
needed to find that detestable word - closure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gotta keep it real - I donāt feel any betterā¦.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It still sucks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-47340460426851084712018-01-01T06:44:00.001-08:002018-01-01T06:47:09.286-08:002018, eh? Ok!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Welcome to my end of year ramblings!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My thoughts always meander on this date and
you who stick with me get to follow along the winding trail with me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lucky you!! ;0)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end of another year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Didnāt we just do all this about five minutes ago?? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās very cold. Words like arctic, 10 minute frost bite
warning, dangerous, deadly, are being bandied about by serious faced TV
meteorologists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Itās so cozy warm inside
that I donāt take enough notice, and I walk the granddogs outside without
enough layers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesusā¦itās the kind of
cold that itās hard to explain if youāre not living it, but it actually hurts
to breathe in, and my lightly gloved fingers ache within a few seconds. Big,
fat clunky gloves next time!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully,
the dogs donāt love it either, and their legs tremble as they quickly pee and
turn to haul me back inside again! Phew!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So ā itās been a year where I really became a working
artist!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean Iāve always sold a bit
here and there, but this was the first year of regular, pretty constant
work!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A reallytrulyartist!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yippee!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One of my 2018 resolutions is to improve, improve, improve, and to try
to be a little less harsh on myself maybe. :0)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And more metal work, better metal work, new techniques, new
fun! Excited to begin!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another resolution- back on the 5/2 and no more cookies and
chocolates<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and yummy carbs! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That resolution means I have to eat all the
sweets today, right?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh well, that may
be disordered thinking, but Ima still eat all the sweets today! And then Iāll
buy a treadmill, ready to sell again, {like new, hardly used! ;0) } in about 2
years!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, no, just kidding, Iāll use
it, Mike, I promise! ;o)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year was good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
enjoyed my work, and Mike and I had a quiet, busy but pleasant year. We get
along almost perfectly. I donāt remember the last time we had a disagreement,
let alone an argument, and we like the same kind of things, laugh at the same
nonsense. Weāre friends, as well as spouses, and weāve decided thatās to be
celebrated!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to sit sometimes and remember
why we got together, the things I admired and appreciated in him, the things I
was ready to fight to maintain, the obstacles we overcame, the blended family
we managed to successfully cobble together. I like to occasionally tell the
world ā thanks Facebook! ā that heās the best husband/father EVER. He took it
all very seriously, while always providing laughs (groans!) and the kids all
love him dearly, I know. Iāve seen many step relationships so fraught with
difficulties that it never really works, so I always say ā how impossibly lucky
are we all to have found this guy from the other side of the Earth!? This year,
weāll celebrate our 17<sup>th</sup> wedding anniversary, (big fat flipoff to
all those who said it wouldnāt/couldnāt work out!) and I love him more than
ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How IMPOSSIBLY lucky am I??!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this year was bad. We lost Cleo AND Tipsy, and it was
hard. Really hard. These furkids of ours are so integral to the family, and
leave a massive emptiness when they are suddenly gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know we were lucky to have Jazzi and Cleo
right from the little puppies they were when we got them, to a ripe old age
with very few health issues in between, but oh my, it just seems impossible to
believe when theyāre suddenly not there. Sad, quiet house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, it was even harder when Tipsy left
me, and Iām still missing her terribly. My studio shadow. I love Maddie, the left-behind-cat,
but she is less affectionate, less shadow-y, more Mikeās cat! (How does that
even happen when heās more of a dog person?? Haha!) Anyway, weāre adjusting,
and I think a new kitten, a playmate for Maddie, is in the very near future.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kids are doing well, all doing their things; we have
grandchild number four due within the next couple of weeks ā what a lovely new
years treat! And we have plans for the new year together and separately!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will continue with my hypnosis, which I
think is proving (surprisingly) valuable for my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>encroaching agoraphobia and continuing anxieties, and Iāve already
developed a few techniques for stress management which seem to be working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh and Heatherās gonna dye my hair purple
too, so thatās gonna be a 50 year old wish granted!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> :0) </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span>So thrilled that I suddenly donāt care about the inevitable judgment!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hypnosis must be working!! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now about that tattooā¦. Hahahahaha!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So in a nutshell, the resolves are ā thinner, less
stressed/anxious, better artist/marketer. Easypeasy!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy new year one and all. May your 2018 be filled with all
that you wish for yourselves and, though itās hard to imagine how this is going
to be possible, may this chaotic, crazy, topsy-turvy world resume some sort of
order and calm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know ā just the
normal crazy instead of 2017 crazy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yeah, yāall know what I mean!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Peace!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-29101939355575014752017-01-01T07:53:00.000-08:002017-01-01T07:53:13.380-08:00Happy New Year!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, here we are again! These new years come around
surprisingly quickly, donāt they?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās been years since I made a resolution ā felt like I was
setting myself up for an annual failure!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And perhaps I was, but this year Iām feeling the urge to do it again
anyway. Whatās life without regular failure, eh?? ;0)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the past, the old favorite was to lose weight, and yep,
it still makes the list! But now that 90 pounds are already gone, (and only
four pounds sneaked back on over the holiday season, so yay!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it is now just a determination that that last
stubborn 15 will get the hell offa my butt! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clearly, that will change my life for the better. :p</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But seriously now, in 2017:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I resolve to say no when I have to, and yes when I want to. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I resolve to listen
to myself more and others less.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I resolve to work harder at my drawing, take tutorials,
experiment and improve, improve, improveā¦and be less critical of the final
work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may never be an artist who
achieves photo-realism, but I know from the huge response to my art/craft fairs
this year that Iām not too shabby at what I do either!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I resolve to write more, be it journal stuff or blog
stuff or whatever. Itās good for me! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
sooner or later, using Candy Crush as a stress reliever will have to come to an
end, and Iāll need a replacement so I donāt have a breakdownā¦ <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:o)</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Write, write, write!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I saw a lady older than me the other day who was wearing
crazy colors, had gorgeous turquoise highlights in her hair and the cutest red
boots EVER!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was color and glory and
beauty on a dismal winter day and my gray on gray on gray ensemble suddenly
seemed soā¦.NOT me! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She exuded
excitement, laughter and confidence. Her very presence made me smile and say
hi!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And her enthusiastic response and
consequent chatter made me feel as though she was some kind of
insta-family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My kinda people. So I resolve
to embrace the inner hippie that I love so much! I never feel more at home in
my own skin<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>than when I am wearing
something a little bohemian and colorful, when my (untouched by hairdresser for
over a year now!) hair is a little wild and unmanageable, when my eyeliner is a
little too blue and my lipstick a little too purple. When I ignore the little
(bitch!) voice inside my head telling me Iām too old for those purple tights
with that shortish denim skirt! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I have one life, then let it be filled with color!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I resolve to work on my ever encroaching agoraphobia. I am
overly content to be at home in my much-loved studio. I am less and less likely
to be out and about, and I donāt really wanna become that person, so Iāll visit
more and hunker less. Iāll visit stores that are out of my neighborhood and
comfort zone, but which beckon with all their treasures. (Dick Blick, Boston!!
OMG!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ikea, Stoughton!! ) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I hereby renew my lifelong resolve to never wear
sweatpants, yoga pants or leggings except if Iām working outā¦.so like, neverā¦ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
:0) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy New Year, folks! May your 2017 be filled to the brim
with whatever makes you happy!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-16483357424269564162016-12-24T05:50:00.001-08:002016-12-24T06:08:15.791-08:00BitterSweet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Last
night I dreamed again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And
now, too early, I sit, hoping that this strong, hot coffee will kick-start me
into action and chase away the doldrums. The season will always be bittersweet,
and I embrace the sweet, and force the bitter into my internal lock box and throw
away the key. But the bitter swells, the box bulges, the seams weaken; a slow
leak begins to infiltrateā¦and I dream again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And
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<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
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turkey and Christmas pudding it will be, because itās always been. I hear Dad singing Captain Mac and my little-girl-heart fills up. Yes. It's Christmas.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And
suddenly, dream-logical, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>itās me in the
kitchen, up to my elbows in flour, sweating as I cook and cook and cook and
cook in temperatures that demand nothing more than a cold salad, a glass or two
of ice cold white wine and a dip in the pool. Itās Christmas eve and the
children talk excitedly, endlessly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Danny is bragging that heās going to wake up
at 1 am to open up his stocking. He teases that he will open theirs as well,
and there are wails and shouts. Flour flying, I wag my finger, calm ruffled
feathers and implement the āonly one gift before everyone is upā rule. He
complains - itās not fair - but the rule actually became a thing and stayed in
place as long as stockings lasted! Now thereās a memory that makes me smile!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
dream is about food mainly, and Danny features heavily. I am the cook/ he is
the cook/ Mum is the cook. Mum cooks traditional sausage rolls and mince pies, light,
heavenly. Danny encourages us to try his bacon and egg ice cream. :0)</span><span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>And me? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything I cook burns. Everything. And I donāt
mean I overcook the beef slightly. I mean I open the oven and every single
thing is a small, black unrecognizable chunk. And I stand in the kitchen alone -always
alone- and I have to go in and tell them all that once again I have ruined Christmas,
that we have no food, and I know the carefree laughter Iām hearing will stop,
and they will stare at me, waiting for me to fix it - and I canāt fix it, ever.
And the panic grows, stealthy and steady and strong. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But dream-Danny opens the oven and says āno,
Mum, look. Itās not burned, itās fine.ā <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And just like that, itās fine. And the
laughter soars, and outside <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the frigid,
white world becomes a hazy, humid, blood-red and fierce summer dayā¦and I wake
up with my heart pounding, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>thoroughly
lost in Christmases past, and the bitter swells and finally bursts the seams of
the lock box and I miss him so, and I lie curled up with pain and sorrow,
regret and longing and self-recrimination washing over me like ocean waves, and
I stop fighting and allow it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because now
is the time. 4am Christmas eve. Still dark. Silent. I consider gathering up the
bitter and stuffing it back into the box immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can do it. Iām really good at it ā it wasnāt
TAUGHT, as such, but it was just what we did in my family. Stiff upper lip, and
all!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as I lay there this morning, breathing
deep and searching for calm, I decided on a re-blending exercise instead. So
for each bitter, I deliberately seek out a sweet and allow that memory to thoroughly
wash over me. I recall the minutiae ā hear the sounds, smell the smells, and slowly,
slowly feel life settle itself back into the balance of light and dark that it is. It's enough...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Busy
day today, in traditional Christmas Eve style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will have Aussie Christmas music playing as I cook, and I will sing
and think and reminisce and feel a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">slight</i>
longing for 100 degree temperatures! I probably wonāt burn anything black this
time, and tonight Iāll talk to Danny and Mum, a million-trillion miles away,
and I will raise my glass to Daddy-man, gone now for thirty years, and wish happy/merry/birthday/Christmas
to him, and I will continue to braid the bitter and the sweet together as so
many people must do at this time of year. Loss bites hard during Christmas,
that bitterness taking little sharp nips out of the sweetness at unexpected moments.
But we persevere because...well, because...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
am calm again. The coffee is deliberately crazy strong and I am wide awake and
jangling! The dream is receding. Nothing is burned beyond repair, the season
seems bright and cheery again. The sunrise is not blood red and fearsome, but soft, a peachy glow over the snow-white. Gentle. I am feeling the sweetness return in full force.
I embrace my beautiful life here, feel the loving arms of my husband around me.
My calm. My rock. My love. Tomorrow LOTS of family members will gather here,
and we will eat and drink and laugh and love and eat and drink some more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Sweet!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As
I put my computer aside and re-don the apron in preparation for my Christmas
Eve, I am feeling once again the happiness and hopefulness of the season, and I
canāt wait to see everyone tomorrow!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Wellā¦almost
everyoneā¦ </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "bradley hand itc"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">To anyone who has stayed with my ramblings...! Hoping
your sweet overwhelms your bitter ā Merry Christmas, happy holidays, love and great good wishes to all family
and friends, near and far - but Danny in particular! WISH you were here. Xoxo</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJqlWhu0fEWpzF-6ynuiWLt2nfT-q2nP8aXgRYay4OiY58NC5WdhL8gR67gWX4bXNndvZovQWQgrHwZGOEdqVV8CqV48lFor1i16IkP1awN3BChcs1I79lbOx54agAmdCA1YQiEDDCj5g/s1600/kidsxmas600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJqlWhu0fEWpzF-6ynuiWLt2nfT-q2nP8aXgRYay4OiY58NC5WdhL8gR67gWX4bXNndvZovQWQgrHwZGOEdqVV8CqV48lFor1i16IkP1awN3BChcs1I79lbOx54agAmdCA1YQiEDDCj5g/s400/kidsxmas600.jpg" width="261" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-46151672917450680062016-11-25T17:37:00.003-08:002016-11-25T17:37:41.090-08:00See ya...!If love be your creed-<br />
And forgiveness for the 'sins' of the lost and the desolate is not only conditional, but sends you into a frenzy of misguided self-congratulation, if your own behavior runs parallel to that of the condemned, and if it's not the first, the second, or even the third time it's happened - look deep.<br />
Time to clean houseš¢<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-59083156342032326092016-08-30T06:23:00.001-07:002016-08-30T06:24:42.611-07:00This Silent Day<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I am up early on this treasured day off!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have about a thousand things to do, and Iām
going to fly into action soon. But I was sitting here, eating a huge breakfast,
considering life, death and all that comes in between, and I began to think
about people, near and far, close now or close once. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I considered the
interesting/painful/joyful aspects of relationships, why they start, what they
bring, how they end if they end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There have been failed marriages, but I still respect and
even like those two men in many ways, and I decided long ago that where there
was once love, there need never be hate. Seasonal relationships, I guess!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:0)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There have been good friendships that have solidly survived
long periods of non-communication, with understanding that sometimes traumas/depressions/fears/anxieties/busy
lives get in the way. True friends remain friends ā loyal and compassionate and
empathetic, and we love each other more for that! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lifetime friends, I would say. <3</div>
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<br /></div>
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And there have been a couple of good friendships that couldnāt
survive those times. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are painful,
especially when theyāve been very important for a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I struggled terribly with these, as a part of
me wanted desperately to <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>reason with
them, challenge hypocrisy, fight for the continuation of the relationship, but
I understand, by their lack of sensitivity for my times of intolerable, torturous
pain, as well as by my own inability to be there for them, that weāre all
done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truth is, we failed each other,
and Iām sorry for those mutual failings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I loved them truly, these friends, who turned out, sadly, to be friends
for a reason AND a season, I suppose, but not a lifetime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:0(</div>
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<br /></div>
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There is silence in my house today. Peace. Calm. No TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sweet, blessed silence as I sit and think and let my thoughts meander
along, taking me hither and yon!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life
has become busy, kinda mindless in some ways. These quiet times are precious
and theyāre filled with thinking and art and writing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as I so often do when I hop off lifeās
treadmill for a minute and really feel the next breath and pay attention to my
strong and healthy (knock on wood!) body, the thought crosses my mindā¦ how incredibly,
impossibly lucky am I in this life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Itās
good to quietly sit and remember that from time to time!</div>
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<br /></div>
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A joyful/painful life that is racing
along at breakneck speed!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And nowā¦putting
aside the thoughts, the writing and the overload of coffee, and onto the real plans
for today!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sending out waves of love, joy and goodwill to all, whether
they be relationships of reason, season or lifetime!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankful for all weāve shared!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-27840708799564612512016-01-01T09:36:00.000-08:002016-01-01T09:43:15.915-08:00Senses of 2015 and onward!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
In 2015, I have <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;">seen</span></b> the human spirit
recover and thrive again and again, even after the worst that can happen, and
it has given me hope for better times ahead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #e36c0a; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">heard</span> </b>all
of my adult children tell me they love me, and knowing that I did not always
make life easy, and knowing other families where forgiveness and loving familial
feelings are not so readily given, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
humbled and grateful. My love for them knows no bounds and I am endlessly proud
of all four. Theyāve overcome their own battles, theyāve proven to be decent
people and they are my heart. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #92d050;">smelled</span></b> the bright, sharp, earthy eucalyptus scent of
a koala in its native land and it lingers in my mind and infiltrates my dreams.
It was a <i>moment </i>for me. The koala looked bored with all the endless tourist
photographs, and my beautiful son was laughing, and I was laughing even over
the huge and unexpected lump in my throat, as the incomparable Aussie sun beat down upon us. Funny what our
minds pick out as being so note-worthy. There were a thousand little moments
during my trip to Australia this year, and they often replay in my mind, but
this, this was justā¦<i>a moment.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM9M_qgeaQKuMB4I7CHWYYu7plnWJgi_WnKoWVWWCEjxxlgu7t3KzJ8JCUaiCerlcGvTDc_RUyqpqsMXzb6sgfMSDfuj6eNOEPuLbgk2KT7yb7ab3sHY0ilEHtMLMRjORvleyS1ZPQlCk/s1600/tinyheart.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM9M_qgeaQKuMB4I7CHWYYu7plnWJgi_WnKoWVWWCEjxxlgu7t3KzJ8JCUaiCerlcGvTDc_RUyqpqsMXzb6sgfMSDfuj6eNOEPuLbgk2KT7yb7ab3sHY0ilEHtMLMRjORvleyS1ZPQlCk/s1600/tinyheart.png" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYuPzGcP9RXEGHWVvyoqdUJwtPf2FyMmWzQWY5LKq1DC34h04j08xsqZJP01_mFktpybAWie0eDFLL7DjDkMsPuKYbKQEg0n2FNry8Coiq8Cj_T5CHt_bi9QR6d_FoiEXEaX5JhkPm5Vw/s1600/hearts.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjSYbMQm8XVHbq0zLSXw1PlJMaBZk0jOPQukdNaKlBj8kp75YK9Yt1ZxCWIp1upco__G5yz3sdjp3gS6VIn2lCDK1ityWwT_I7Cn8l4Qc1qTVc8rHHE4nVfQQ-MkTn4x8DWHFArnHxRM/s1600/DSCN0072.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjSYbMQm8XVHbq0zLSXw1PlJMaBZk0jOPQukdNaKlBj8kp75YK9Yt1ZxCWIp1upco__G5yz3sdjp3gS6VIn2lCDK1ityWwT_I7Cn8l4Qc1qTVc8rHHE4nVfQQ-MkTn4x8DWHFArnHxRM/s200/DSCN0072.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have<span style="color: #943634; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themeshade: 191;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #31849b; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 191;">tasted</span></b>
my Mumās pumpkin scones, her fruit cake, her date and walnut slice, her sublime
pastry in a perfect pie. I have savored them and have understood what chefs
mean when they say the secret ingredient is love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But thereās love in those goodies from the
taster as well! I had a much greater reaction to all those things than just yummy
sweets on the taste buds, for sure!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have <span style="color: #c00000;">touched </span>my mother,
when only a year ago, I wondered fearfully if I had missed that opportunity
forever. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I have <span style="color: #c00000;">touched </span>my son in Australia, whom I see so, so
rarely. It is my one great sadness, so it meant everything to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just <i>everything</i>! And, so thereās no more to
be said!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpLRuI3pjKUVHjuV56S5yoVs3_Tc4jEFn_eBVvwliSfDyUIeD3Jcae_jYVZ11IJRzBaRqtjMhrVuRunfEJedLmK5ayuIKcrkb0KZWj6JrdPsfEMGmwDcj_9nw0kTzO4uGSv4azR2lZeDI/s1600/mummelake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpLRuI3pjKUVHjuV56S5yoVs3_Tc4jEFn_eBVvwliSfDyUIeD3Jcae_jYVZ11IJRzBaRqtjMhrVuRunfEJedLmK5ayuIKcrkb0KZWj6JrdPsfEMGmwDcj_9nw0kTzO4uGSv4azR2lZeDI/s200/mummelake.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicDowmfVaFWpGVWkdpFllQ092lCgOEy87nQA8fQpLlaO-5OQl-jeony6qUHdgGF-vtYPT990kMKuggKzF7yGkcozbVeLWz6Dko42Acigde_kV9fZ0IYrHHnl-0-czdl_p8ntg8qV8NxuQ/s1600/medan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGFlgmmGF2r-oNXcroXLsJHiX6IK4qnqdrYNi8hKpsHX75JxutdMkpYE8jdzWth76lO1Y9aWRCtA9xdnBh9LnpwmERBtw8ZqRfwO0ZWRkMeUHXm7S4iEkH0YIXDcs8Wef2ktR0fiiLnLk/s1600/2015-03-30+12.12.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGFlgmmGF2r-oNXcroXLsJHiX6IK4qnqdrYNi8hKpsHX75JxutdMkpYE8jdzWth76lO1Y9aWRCtA9xdnBh9LnpwmERBtw8ZqRfwO0ZWRkMeUHXm7S4iEkH0YIXDcs8Wef2ktR0fiiLnLk/s200/2015-03-30+12.12.58.jpg" width="200" /> </a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I have<span style="color: #7030a0;"> felt</span> great sadness
and great joy. There was a loss in 2014 that had a deep and long lasting effect
on me, and I learned how to sometimes do the old āfake it ātil you make itā
routine to get through to the next day. I have felt the joy of family
gatherings, though seriously marked by the absence of some precious loved
ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting in my Mumās lounge room, I
have felt the old music coursing through my veins like lifeblood as my siblings
and cousins performed the oldies, and I was lost in nostalgia as we all sang
the familiar choruses. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiotYms4ZnbD99UDUbYuf9uvISNJ_2G8PSzS4mK8xAW9GQyNGpFpO_iDzs70MfRoMMaBcIAt0CGyG-NIYZUWd8uM8dGEbPjFoPMdN4DAekwd33Huco3nYatmXywptTEH5wsa4ELB5qXlDY/s1600/DSCN0172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiotYms4ZnbD99UDUbYuf9uvISNJ_2G8PSzS4mK8xAW9GQyNGpFpO_iDzs70MfRoMMaBcIAt0CGyG-NIYZUWd8uM8dGEbPjFoPMdN4DAekwd33Huco3nYatmXywptTEH5wsa4ELB5qXlDY/s200/DSCN0172.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have felt the urge to pick up the guitar again the
last couple of days. It hurts my bad neck and the finger that I once stuck
under a mower (yep!) is not as strong as the others ā AND Iām pretty sure the
guitar resents being relegated back to halting beginner status after being the
instrument used in a boozy night of rollicking Irish folk tunes played by
someone who REALLY knows what sheās doing! (Loved it SOSOSOSOSOSO much, Pat!!
What a great night!) Butā¦.I shall continue, and perhaps one day Iāll figure out
what Iām doing!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I have learned that Iām an artist. A wonky artist, where
things are often <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">almost</i> right, or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nearly</i> as I pictured them!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have returned to the crazy colors, with
secrets or poems or songs scribbled somewhere on the canvas. Itās what I did as
a kid, not that anyone knew, as music was the art that mattered most in my
family, and I donāt think anyone really knew that the colors and the words
were <i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>music!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Itās ok though. I was a bit of an odd-bod as
a kid, I think! Spent a lot of time sitting up a tree ...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPUc9JKm8pNY2sFm2xA-nEQ_ZnVkIDngw9tT7edaq5oVvf8EYRh-Z3ceKlAHULCUC_RUZ-4OV17j3S6Iic1JvTQ2C4VFIvgmeMT0WIHpQa8o4wuwyj5XYBugmaHJNth2va_GYqQCv3fk/s1600/emoticon2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPUc9JKm8pNY2sFm2xA-nEQ_ZnVkIDngw9tT7edaq5oVvf8EYRh-Z3ceKlAHULCUC_RUZ-4OV17j3S6Iic1JvTQ2C4VFIvgmeMT0WIHpQa8o4wuwyj5XYBugmaHJNth2va_GYqQCv3fk/s200/emoticon2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These
days, people actually teach that way of painting, considering it a form of
freedom, a expression of inner truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
me, as a kid, it was just bad art, never to be shown to the world!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Haha! This is my favorite of the moment ā called
āSecrets in my Garden.ā Indeed, there are secrets galore hidden under all of
that color and I look at it daily and feel all kinds of emotions coursing
through me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi94auKgBeb4M5pEP1xYRd8MJlDPGIyBq43tx7hThw31ypcZ2uxXIIy-SJBge27gvmTxjPM7XzP3YylP0xaTMM9xBfRNGT5FzC6wERHeuXtopGavecPdECpiGCT0T-nfYbKx-41LA471Yk/s1600/pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi94auKgBeb4M5pEP1xYRd8MJlDPGIyBq43tx7hThw31ypcZ2uxXIIy-SJBge27gvmTxjPM7XzP3YylP0xaTMM9xBfRNGT5FzC6wERHeuXtopGavecPdECpiGCT0T-nfYbKx-41LA471Yk/s320/pic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have learned that I have no attention span and itās
getting worse!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Haha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No sooner I āmasterā (hohohahhahahahaHAHAHA)
one new craft/art, Iām bored and onto the next. I mean ā I may never wrap wire
again, but Iām rather in love with this evidence of a few bored days!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Lotta wire in there....LOTTTTTTAAAA wire! :0)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEu4YDxP9lza8YYh6-L6ArDxjH_2Q2Se9q1CaEJsBazpJugv2m4imJhLxNzyZLyi9pxk6oWyr7S4XJtiblwOe1_29n86qmjWOOjPb9r6R_vs9iDEDqOSHcn47XIrshyphenhyphenfmhNbdDWS1x3U/s1600/hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEu4YDxP9lza8YYh6-L6ArDxjH_2Q2Se9q1CaEJsBazpJugv2m4imJhLxNzyZLyi9pxk6oWyr7S4XJtiblwOe1_29n86qmjWOOjPb9r6R_vs9iDEDqOSHcn47XIrshyphenhyphenfmhNbdDWS1x3U/s200/hand.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a little more evidence of a bouncing mind ā here is one
of my home-madeās for the girls this year. Rachel, in Florida, photo-shopped
(ugh, very badly. Must work on that too!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in because I always want to imagine her here
with us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> All that design and applique</span> was fun, for sure, but will I ever do
it again??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:0)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsukTOsEVjwvXTGzAxrfJ1757lF3FHcS7WrvTnqxp5ZGlcokK4Xu4m1ks3FqEasiiYeKhwAcb-GOo1syD2YjwGj4RUAZ0SuNzuajaF1xHqd-4UivlVCXSMmUn-mpUFslRjgS6zrJSKOe4/s1600/girlsbest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsukTOsEVjwvXTGzAxrfJ1757lF3FHcS7WrvTnqxp5ZGlcokK4Xu4m1ks3FqEasiiYeKhwAcb-GOo1syD2YjwGj4RUAZ0SuNzuajaF1xHqd-4UivlVCXSMmUn-mpUFslRjgS6zrJSKOe4/s320/girlsbest.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRYaLCgxbmroNHYPBWwvAqGkuGX2GRh0aLNwDiCyhLj8pBpgBpftbGoSKB3QMsai1WIHmnxx7z1I6oAemiNJd9KLj-lXglcn9flAJbLB8Q2ZGvkBNpE-iUWZea7-J_91j-MoZzWa6iwzo/s1600/emoticon3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRYaLCgxbmroNHYPBWwvAqGkuGX2GRh0aLNwDiCyhLj8pBpgBpftbGoSKB3QMsai1WIHmnxx7z1I6oAemiNJd9KLj-lXglcn9flAJbLB8Q2ZGvkBNpE-iUWZea7-J_91j-MoZzWa6iwzo/s200/emoticon3.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep, I am an artist!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have <span style="color: red;">felt </span>the love of my
husband in every moment, in every action, in every word. I have <span style="color: red;">seen </span>the love he feels for my children, as complete
and true and real as the love he feels for his own child, who also accepted us
all as her own family, and even readily allowed me to be Nana to her kids. We
donāt use the prefix āstepā much around here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are a family! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>How impossibly
lucky are we??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7_NXhtw9qCValhsAQdQbYVrD79UCacDKVLUqFA5uZnCgwCsBPQn-FnxRfD5jGb3J6QLBJDNpnaTcYJ-GNkI5EeeD34oF_5d8n5K9MIVZ-dJUjIXh4pyCrCCT3wtdnqSFZuSV5YicY2bg/s1600/fampicawesome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7_NXhtw9qCValhsAQdQbYVrD79UCacDKVLUqFA5uZnCgwCsBPQn-FnxRfD5jGb3J6QLBJDNpnaTcYJ-GNkI5EeeD34oF_5d8n5K9MIVZ-dJUjIXh4pyCrCCT3wtdnqSFZuSV5YicY2bg/s320/fampicawesome.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy, happy new year to all family and friends, here and
away. May your year be peaceful, joyous and filled to the brim with all the
excessive love Iām feeling right at this moment. Nothing like a morning of
quiet nostalgia to get the cup overflowing!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTeA_savYo3VyfLa9EP04PEG97e7JqZi7zIdOw-9Kb4N0ATfTsSJg2IJsQY2NgTgXo93GymIMLGdT549bIOHCHh8OH5sr417O0bc-7Ddwsk5xdFjf2Dfg06p0PDuNGNTnIFK_Ac-5EipA/s1600/DSC_0738.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTeA_savYo3VyfLa9EP04PEG97e7JqZi7zIdOw-9Kb4N0ATfTsSJg2IJsQY2NgTgXo93GymIMLGdT549bIOHCHh8OH5sr417O0bc-7Ddwsk5xdFjf2Dfg06p0PDuNGNTnIFK_Ac-5EipA/s200/DSC_0738.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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Cheers!!<br />
xox </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-80479494920125660832015-08-03T14:19:00.002-07:002015-08-03T14:19:42.067-07:00Nostalgia Day<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Itās a day when my thoughts are in the past. Back in the
glory days when I used to complain about spending half my life in a car waiting
for Rachel and Tommy to get out of school/rehearsal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knew I would ever long for those days
again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To see that tall, handsome,
beautiful boy coming toward the car, to hear the latest gossip (oh, those
stories!) and to have a laugh about something, anything.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My thoughts go back to you often and I relive those days
when you were just another kid in my houseful of kids, both my own and the Loft
kids, watched over, admired, chastised when necessary, loved.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I miss it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss
you all.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And on your 21<sup>st</sup> birthday, dear Tommy, I miss you
especially, and my thoughts have been with you and your family a whole lot today,
as Iāve read the birthday wishes on your FB.</div>
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<br /></div>
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To all those Acting Loft kids who had a second home at my
home, I hope you all know how much all of us Loft moms loved all of you.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We were a family, and I just wanted you to know how loved
you always are in my mind.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mumsie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
xox</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-53003561989159988142015-06-15T13:57:00.001-07:002015-06-15T13:57:34.900-07:00Loving Sarah<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is Sarah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAUGJZyOnGsZ3Pl7jGU_UloiHpERwx8f_x7OO1SwVVhdhqj2E0bYEmgCb4_Jiz_zdimDXebmR9WrFEB868-UTbI7j_ZUE-R7-GhN6iVhJfiW_2ATZ7N-Ma9Lwrfm_rgbnneYcIwu7mFLY/s1600/sarah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAUGJZyOnGsZ3Pl7jGU_UloiHpERwx8f_x7OO1SwVVhdhqj2E0bYEmgCb4_Jiz_zdimDXebmR9WrFEB868-UTbI7j_ZUE-R7-GhN6iVhJfiW_2ATZ7N-Ma9Lwrfm_rgbnneYcIwu7mFLY/s200/sarah.jpg" width="148" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Sheās
41 years old now, and holding up to the years much better than I am!</div>
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On my twelfth birthday, (back in the days when a 12 year old
was still just a little girl) I received, from my dear Auntie Pat, this beautiful,
hand-made soft doll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Immaculately
crafted and made with all the love I always felt from Auntie Pat, Sarah has a
sweet, gentle face and layers of clothes, frilly petticoat, dress, apron, hat. An
old-fashioned gal, for sure! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course,
she came along with me when I came to the USA, and sits by my bed, always. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has been there through a complicated
adolescence, two failed marriages, four pregnancies, and decades of desperately
hopeful parenting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She even submitted to
my nappy/diaper practice runs when I was pregnant with my first, and she is
filled to the brim with a lifetime of my whispered thoughts, and she is plump
with my secrets!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For thousands of
nights, Iāve dozed off with Sarahās calm face close by, watching over the good
and the bad, reminding me of Mum and Auntie Pat, family ties, a beautiful
garden in Salisbury, walking on stilts, adventures, love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny what a bunch of fabric and buttons and
ric rac can bring to mind. I often run my hand over her, smooth out her dress,
adjust her little shoes, and I am always transported. Back, back, back to old,
easy, perfect days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She always brings a
smile.</div>
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And after all of these years, Iām finally making my
own version.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a replica of my Sarah,
but she will obviously be related! She will have the same calm and gentle and
beautiful face, with the expression that calms and soothes. We will not have
all the layers of clothes though. Sheās a more modern girl ā like me!</div>
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My girls will think Iām a crazy lady some day in the future
when I present their 20something selves with dolls! Haha! But when theyāre 50, maybe they will feel more than a bunch of fabric and buttons and ric rac as they
lay a hand on their doll friend. They will feel nostalgia and they will feel
all my love surrounding them, always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But first ā a prototype!</div>
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***</div>
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And here she is! </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3wTAO2ZkbL97Eo969hbAYsLU2ZCFQIlqNhJX9VRyV7B07H4Qzrm5i51oHNI13L1QQ6vbwQlbiI4KN4PoYsRyX_ssXbH15IKTvnxCXMgfZZ1Xp8Orman2_BxG9NXUPtUO0nIUG6BcD5Qc/s1600/newdoll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3wTAO2ZkbL97Eo969hbAYsLU2ZCFQIlqNhJX9VRyV7B07H4Qzrm5i51oHNI13L1QQ6vbwQlbiI4KN4PoYsRyX_ssXbH15IKTvnxCXMgfZZ1Xp8Orman2_BxG9NXUPtUO0nIUG6BcD5Qc/s200/newdoll.jpg" width="148" /></a></div>
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This is the first attempt!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As always, when I try to emulate something, I
go about it the hard way!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So sheās a
little rough around some of her edges, and Iāve learned some lessons about
construction, etc, as Iāve gone along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I love her so much anyway, and I feel absolutely delighted whenever
I look at her! She has got Sarahās face ā sweet and gentle, and she has a
modern edge to her, with wild, highlighted hair and an updated wardrobe! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iāll find someone who will ignore wonky
stitches and weird construction issues; someone who just needs a little friend
to hang out with them forever ā thatās if I can bear to part with her! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second attempt is gonna be much quicker and much better!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you know that by the 15<sup>th</sup>
doll, sheās gonna be perfect enough for me to give them to my girls! Hope theyāre
not already 50 by the time I get to it! Haha!</div>
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Well!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thatās what Iāve
done with my week!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How ābout you??</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha0YRTgw5FHM5wIrR2VxnzDOJUQPZGOsYHxxr8tUCzSEF8aUDaDbEFbMZYBv0emaI4ZWHWwvf2yfjpkxEmKfUJnCcajS8zvGROzxl39d4LAG7s6glotNUmxvYhVdbPvM-po5zli7cJ-C0/s1600/2dolls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha0YRTgw5FHM5wIrR2VxnzDOJUQPZGOsYHxxr8tUCzSEF8aUDaDbEFbMZYBv0emaI4ZWHWwvf2yfjpkxEmKfUJnCcajS8zvGROzxl39d4LAG7s6glotNUmxvYhVdbPvM-po5zli7cJ-C0/s320/2dolls.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-6038386774223754552015-04-14T16:55:00.000-07:002015-04-14T17:01:49.674-07:00Gifts From Wherever<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās the day after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day when everything always looks fresh and welcoming,
familiar yet somehow different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, the
bagās unpacked, the laundry is on and the photoās are sorted out, cropped and
ready to share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iām sorting out my
thoughts too, which have run the full gamut over the past few weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iāve talked until Iām hoarse, discovered new
feelings for some people, and rediscovered old ones for others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iāve been surprised by the intensity of some
of those feelings, and warmed by the love I felt surrounding me constantly
during my time away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of the love
came from right here at home, as my husband reassured me daily of how much he
missed me, how much he loves me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
dear face at the airport last night was THE most welcoming sight, after a long,
tough travel day, and his willingness to find me a Wendyās instantly, as I was
finally hungry for the first time after that 27 hours of travel, was a godsend!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there was a lot of love and some good feelings home in Australia too. It
is nice to have the impression that everyone is absolutely thrilled to see you
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is nice to look at those old
familiar faces, and feel a genuine warmth for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nice to be able to put aside any/all
difficulties of the past, and realize that these people are my people, my past,
and getting to know them all again was a sweet and genuine gift. From
whom?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, everyoneās got their own
ideas, but Iām going to thank Mike, who worked his ass off to help make this
trip happen in such a perfect way, and all the family members back home who put
aspects of their own lives on hold to come and hang out with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you all, and thank you all for making
it happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And thanks to the
Universe/powers that be/luck, that my dear old Mum was even still alive and
well to enjoy this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a most
miserable health scare, and a long and often difficult convalescence, she is āup
and at āem,ā and improving each day, accompanying my siblings and cousins on
the piano, as they all filled up each night with music of various kinds. She
is, as they say, a marvel!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That she has
come back, almost literally, from deathās door; that I had the opportunity to
go hang out with her again for a while, and that she is recovering enough that
I donāt doubt sheāll live a long, reasonably healthy life yet, those are the amazing
things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This trip was mostly about
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After her scare, and not knowing
exactly what was going on, I needed to see her and see for myself where
everything stood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As it turns out, sheāll
most likely still be going strong when I take my next trip over! And those are the
gifts. Doesnāt matter where the gifts came from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Theyāre just gifts from wherever ā and I
accept them most gratefully and joyfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some true highlights:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seeing Danny standing there waiting for me at Hobart airport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just canāt even explain the true joy of
seeing that dear face beaming at me, explaining heād been there two hours early
because he was so excited!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He showed me
his Hobart, was a great, amenable tour guide and we hit the ground running and
didnāt stop until I left again!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
weather Gods beamed down on us and you can bet I basked like an old lizard on a
rock, sucking in that sunshine for all I was worth!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My only regret is that the other kids couldnāt
be there too. I found myself wishing, throughout the whole trip, that it had
been possible for them to come along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iāll
continue buying lottery tickets, as Iād love to make that happen eventually!</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWzsWmLHoK9lxq6bXh-DhTIFcRNnsPwkbp756AJ1JZdz4p299JUpO_VCnEfn8_1HIcSZVN6kOI5So0_e2a8qfLhqvmWIjPFxg1GAUbvVEABlnJsS1sH2nNkRrZGZVttLJClcUxnx3Ycuk/s1600/danmebest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWzsWmLHoK9lxq6bXh-DhTIFcRNnsPwkbp756AJ1JZdz4p299JUpO_VCnEfn8_1HIcSZVN6kOI5So0_e2a8qfLhqvmWIjPFxg1GAUbvVEABlnJsS1sH2nNkRrZGZVttLJClcUxnx3Ycuk/s1600/danmebest.jpg" height="249" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dan and Me!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0iXwPdSJYgVcwvcOPIvhjQqBOGRxpAF1iDgTRhEICG2X-CBRgs5-u1zU6bghd2iGqLkwYCmicYLO4MOZ425vmLpB4impTF9scrohZTY_RaS4CcWHCCFQPm7QnyiM8eWHP9s2f8L4jKcw/s1600/DSCN0072.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0iXwPdSJYgVcwvcOPIvhjQqBOGRxpAF1iDgTRhEICG2X-CBRgs5-u1zU6bghd2iGqLkwYCmicYLO4MOZ425vmLpB4impTF9scrohZTY_RaS4CcWHCCFQPm7QnyiM8eWHP9s2f8L4jKcw/s1600/DSCN0072.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only thing better than the feel is the smell!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM-_m561xDIcEKRTztUWLxyaFl1z5VhrzMvtcwEIl8GUEXrWR-1hQ84r0cuKb2Zze-9kwBZw5LriZIWTJjwzCMhu_-s-c79V_z4jNIQD-WPJzxxW6iHgHeTQ2FVuTiEkfklmZdlVuxt7s/s1600/DSCN0098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM-_m561xDIcEKRTztUWLxyaFl1z5VhrzMvtcwEIl8GUEXrWR-1hQ84r0cuKb2Zze-9kwBZw5LriZIWTJjwzCMhu_-s-c79V_z4jNIQD-WPJzxxW6iHgHeTQ2FVuTiEkfklmZdlVuxt7s/s1600/DSCN0098.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dan and a new buddy!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUcaoA1BP9HmX7G74ZH9NxFU08seVPI0fi1hjae2HtEfEQQRPNNxvKE2ZBanVKci89-goykISFh3zKxzKwQmNvLANffureajGUh-zRjetn8CV2oQ3uoNFc_Kk0wd50QgoGjFBXCfIRcCs/s1600/DSCN0097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUcaoA1BP9HmX7G74ZH9NxFU08seVPI0fi1hjae2HtEfEQQRPNNxvKE2ZBanVKci89-goykISFh3zKxzKwQmNvLANffureajGUh-zRjetn8CV2oQ3uoNFc_Kk0wd50QgoGjFBXCfIRcCs/s1600/DSCN0097.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Slobber-chops kanga!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKfMk_B4WjLQN5IwthHaacWjAtNmdZXxzYa87v5jhF3n-jTEkSoW8yeiyfeUPDSvucibCc6wczetf09Ml6yC4DBGBBmxDAWn7ERd6NgMhOrVxUNio6qUvH0aaos1k7in7RAB4KN8iBGQ/s1600/DSCN0071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKfMk_B4WjLQN5IwthHaacWjAtNmdZXxzYa87v5jhF3n-jTEkSoW8yeiyfeUPDSvucibCc6wczetf09Ml6yC4DBGBBmxDAWn7ERd6NgMhOrVxUNio6qUvH0aaos1k7in7RAB4KN8iBGQ/s1600/DSCN0071.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another picture? Fine!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQuVtilaRKpeCFKgDLghQOViAv5u2XSOoDxhap_dJIqy5n79bhQXi2LVgHaCv9jwiBHXBpSfOHDL6_ltpfm5VDfO5ZV8nHKy7gSnJADx6hOodY6ZDvjAuMrZ1Wjvu9UBbZSmG4YY0gbo/s1600/DSCN0079.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQuVtilaRKpeCFKgDLghQOViAv5u2XSOoDxhap_dJIqy5n79bhQXi2LVgHaCv9jwiBHXBpSfOHDL6_ltpfm5VDfO5ZV8nHKy7gSnJADx6hOodY6ZDvjAuMrZ1Wjvu9UBbZSmG4YY0gbo/s1600/DSCN0079.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three legged rescue echidna! Very friendly and curious!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTeC95RnLhw2hVNo0PXie5zV2fWB6HA6oJkqAPtY9HBoaxpWD-K6ogU3gr9svvffzqYT1GczWztrhjAwQkX9cMcnpUpepIgZaWUEKzselQ71PnLYIvrreEYXE1G9JS14xOnE0Cl0kT_Lw/s1600/DSCN0089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTeC95RnLhw2hVNo0PXie5zV2fWB6HA6oJkqAPtY9HBoaxpWD-K6ogU3gr9svvffzqYT1GczWztrhjAwQkX9cMcnpUpepIgZaWUEKzselQ71PnLYIvrreEYXE1G9JS14xOnE0Cl0kT_Lw/s1600/DSCN0089.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The great laughing kookaburra. My favorite!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI8-Gtd_6lGwED6MpU-5-HPeV8aBur-Kz_Mx8P3vFVbHnbvbDNalZmpUYdXNTdsvRqJA-qQes_xNKTcBndR_nI-Vsx_EWVHYXTt1iyIpspw3SDa-LZdqUGm_RYkwhc0Hmp7YSsAePCItk/s1600/DSCN0113.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI8-Gtd_6lGwED6MpU-5-HPeV8aBur-Kz_Mx8P3vFVbHnbvbDNalZmpUYdXNTdsvRqJA-qQes_xNKTcBndR_nI-Vsx_EWVHYXTt1iyIpspw3SDa-LZdqUGm_RYkwhc0Hmp7YSsAePCItk/s1600/DSCN0113.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When I first saw her, I thought - what the hell is that?????</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeBbeyAHGXLRT2Ck5MvCf3LIKr8pysgDZZiZ8mds5kkYXZyFJA__PKEPo95DRARbk8mQM26af48XVZy0af3x7LXfcpw3yQcXxLdbPNHThNtv01MHl-FQW-O9CBT-Nt0Py0tDn5OUDHo2Y/s1600/DSCN0110.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeBbeyAHGXLRT2Ck5MvCf3LIKr8pysgDZZiZ8mds5kkYXZyFJA__PKEPo95DRARbk8mQM26af48XVZy0af3x7LXfcpw3yQcXxLdbPNHThNtv01MHl-FQW-O9CBT-Nt0Py0tDn5OUDHo2Y/s1600/DSCN0110.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And then the little head followed the leg and there was....Joey! Lucky us!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXDul-MuxNn3J69gx9Cf1u-UqrkXUF5T1yBfLNb9ekaA0N7GEbIFEnLt4YPZEIxZOIyUfy-3cqdJBQw-xutZHPIcChvm0OHvUyLrxDvdp7gg5ISiR1nYNxHIU594VFcWmgQJ36pN8hn88/s1600/DSCN0041.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXDul-MuxNn3J69gx9Cf1u-UqrkXUF5T1yBfLNb9ekaA0N7GEbIFEnLt4YPZEIxZOIyUfy-3cqdJBQw-xutZHPIcChvm0OHvUyLrxDvdp7gg5ISiR1nYNxHIU594VFcWmgQJ36pN8hn88/s1600/DSCN0041.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tasmania - incredibly beautiful.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJmQ3fVPjiH598NCN7O0qJdRzIfMVeZjyoibcXSlSt7cfSQSAjFlmswgSnaU8wp83CLeV43nwntVmFWIGPUu9MKMD2JJEh2njqdBSWO1CNBDz60pS0j8AInG7_Pg16wRR8H8TL2Rl3-oo/s1600/DSCN0057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJmQ3fVPjiH598NCN7O0qJdRzIfMVeZjyoibcXSlSt7cfSQSAjFlmswgSnaU8wp83CLeV43nwntVmFWIGPUu9MKMD2JJEh2njqdBSWO1CNBDz60pS0j8AInG7_Pg16wRR8H8TL2Rl3-oo/s1600/DSCN0057.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Tasmanian Devil...uummm, not so beautiful, and he looked kinda pissed, but you gotta admire him anyway!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX0jgZ5kPMSglUCUmiSVVfmKxot_DJDJYDWnVDpNHMjcZU2C61Zq0tapTgQpfnDgevOfvRB2SXrvstL-v5iuRTUOEHHmO9PtYzryL0zXiodCZW_FK23oJaIc2W-SjDXCA8Or_DeybKE58/s1600/DSCN0039.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX0jgZ5kPMSglUCUmiSVVfmKxot_DJDJYDWnVDpNHMjcZU2C61Zq0tapTgQpfnDgevOfvRB2SXrvstL-v5iuRTUOEHHmO9PtYzryL0zXiodCZW_FK23oJaIc2W-SjDXCA8Or_DeybKE58/s1600/DSCN0039.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful Tassie - can't wait to go back!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcRnXFGzZxnjUPbYr7GZ8mSapnQcEwraFMYVyQ506Ojb5u1sTHleUmdNOY30Krs64N7gcQnFgLY7wwu2PyJcfanxhrGgoYAmoyyTwVH6mblVrBloo2eXpM1yuiQW_AX9pgt5fMierdZFs/s1600/DSCN0131.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcRnXFGzZxnjUPbYr7GZ8mSapnQcEwraFMYVyQ506Ojb5u1sTHleUmdNOY30Krs64N7gcQnFgLY7wwu2PyJcfanxhrGgoYAmoyyTwVH6mblVrBloo2eXpM1yuiQW_AX9pgt5fMierdZFs/s1600/DSCN0131.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fred, the 100 year old cockie, who chatted happily with me until I got too close, and then set up the most God-awful screeching! They should sell that thing as a house alarm!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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An afternoon with some dear friends in Sydney, who booked a
table on the outside deck at the Kirribilli Club, where all you have to look at
is that deadly boring view of some old bridge over the waterā¦. :0)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Haha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a beautiful Sydney day, the colors so bright after so much snow
whiteness here for the past several months, that it physically felt like it was
hurting my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The view, of course, is
actually to die for!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old bridge
still holds her place, and the Manly ferry goes back and forth along with all
the private boats sailing around the harbor. It was magic, and I drank it in,
trying to set it in my head. My permanent internal wallpaper!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesnāt get much prettier than that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Delightful too, to see those friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Older, and with some health issues that are a
little sad to see, but mostly the same dear people. Funny, warm, generous of
heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A gift of a day!</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzUaPpK9peFgdsHL7CMlTGKO464eDRKJ2K2jL_6pTMRrzylczytHra8cJmdw93tu2j4IkMzSO-LpsFmM9iPNBL9F0RHh6U51yeq3uALr00lTvGBRPU3Lgjn_hFmAvTyQ-Ab7kuEKrL5C8/s1600/DSCN0148.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzUaPpK9peFgdsHL7CMlTGKO464eDRKJ2K2jL_6pTMRrzylczytHra8cJmdw93tu2j4IkMzSO-LpsFmM9iPNBL9F0RHh6U51yeq3uALr00lTvGBRPU3Lgjn_hFmAvTyQ-Ab7kuEKrL5C8/s1600/DSCN0148.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from our table at the Kirribilli Club</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEeraz_TpQtpPGrP1XRHJBilWjCs65ST7TtArQIwnSN0DjzcsLXGVBGr-sx5j5JHtRznZwlCagTLiQSU4kCxyBPRXSOeiFOPGQDZY7ai0Undq2OIJO1Vp4Nyf2UxRNWnE0UXjgUSbi4J4/s1600/DSCN0154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEeraz_TpQtpPGrP1XRHJBilWjCs65ST7TtArQIwnSN0DjzcsLXGVBGr-sx5j5JHtRznZwlCagTLiQSU4kCxyBPRXSOeiFOPGQDZY7ai0Undq2OIJO1Vp4Nyf2UxRNWnE0UXjgUSbi4J4/s1600/DSCN0154.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pam, Martin and me. Kirribilli Club.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw5JPlLoMGPUV7MnL6QnAvrXjYUjk0ZMkYdV3dKBPn6aRhhVe8_S0tc99oLwFh6xrF5TOTAOpgEHLEr8DQ6KVabJLOosjoYL9gEsXvLkizFiD5x221kk0q3h1XXAsupvB9sZa4pL8UT_w/s1600/DSCN0151.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw5JPlLoMGPUV7MnL6QnAvrXjYUjk0ZMkYdV3dKBPn6aRhhVe8_S0tc99oLwFh6xrF5TOTAOpgEHLEr8DQ6KVabJLOosjoYL9gEsXvLkizFiD5x221kk0q3h1XXAsupvB9sZa4pL8UT_w/s1600/DSCN0151.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adam at the Kirribilli Club.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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After getting caught out by the rain, and scuppered by the
unrealized fact that Sydney retail pretty much closes on Good Friday, my two
sisters and I spent six hours at the Fortune of War, Sydneyās oldest pub,
drinking, talking, laughing, crying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
felt good. There are things that havenāt always been easy, and there have been
things to forget and forgive, but this great boozy afternoon felt like it
smoothed some troubled waters. Felt like sistahs!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pretty cool!</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDyfwQ6XBbScb-db2viyPSjvrA_aZ7x_MOxJHfgW9VPoOH_mg9B6WPN-GRgYe2qOoZpBT13rna-aNTXH0plivKVqDuWzbx91fJzvOl1BXDIgk485CsXbKbtrutztAYgDLI3a0ubBJiHnU/s1600/DSCN0159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDyfwQ6XBbScb-db2viyPSjvrA_aZ7x_MOxJHfgW9VPoOH_mg9B6WPN-GRgYe2qOoZpBT13rna-aNTXH0plivKVqDuWzbx91fJzvOl1BXDIgk485CsXbKbtrutztAYgDLI3a0ubBJiHnU/s1600/DSCN0159.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sistahs!</td></tr>
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Seeing my Mum as she opened her front door to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Smaller, older, looking a bit like sheād gone
through the mill ā as she has ā but still Mum, warm and welcoming, happy to see
me, had the kettle on almost immediately, in true English fashion!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing how close we had all come to losing
her made me see the true value of this visit, and I did value it. Every moment.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUVQuT5CKap4ac8apLS4vbrcDeu0ZJo1Undo0bngujvohaf0P96Nmuq2gogSjF6GxHSF1hlPiLGl-CToBtfToxvcLnODb3JX6uV0AjFsT7hk2LCNV81jbdblxpep_J4M9TGXmAwOHuowk/s1600/DSCN0238.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUVQuT5CKap4ac8apLS4vbrcDeu0ZJo1Undo0bngujvohaf0P96Nmuq2gogSjF6GxHSF1hlPiLGl-CToBtfToxvcLnODb3JX6uV0AjFsT7hk2LCNV81jbdblxpep_J4M9TGXmAwOHuowk/s1600/DSCN0238.JPG" height="220" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mum!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNMYFklWsoxcQ6A1le7ph9WcxsozHK9Qj-NWD5K737Dhyphenhyphen9uYRZibKxK-WkBy9_YjUcAV1mdA8QK2fPjr5xfotSa9slMMhJ6NOp3Ubwt7D4Rrj44ztdTVKKp5mUXv6mDSOjmSuyPsuMVvA/s1600/DSCN0203.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNMYFklWsoxcQ6A1le7ph9WcxsozHK9Qj-NWD5K737Dhyphenhyphen9uYRZibKxK-WkBy9_YjUcAV1mdA8QK2fPjr5xfotSa9slMMhJ6NOp3Ubwt7D4Rrj44ztdTVKKp5mUXv6mDSOjmSuyPsuMVvA/s1600/DSCN0203.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Perhaps not the greatest pic in the world, but I like it a lot, for various reasons. Lake Canobolas (and cousin Joe) in the background</td></tr>
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Hanging with my big bro!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>An afternoon of drinking Tooheyās New, and watching the Sharks unexpectedly
give the Roosters a good old thrashing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A very excellent afternoon, and an opportunity to chat a bit about
various things, as well as receive some schooling in the changes to Rugby
League in Australia, a code, by the way, that is much more exciting than
American football!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Sorry America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iām patriotic in many, many ways these days,
and love a good baseball or hockey game, [not you, basketball, you just suck!]
but thereās just nothing quite like the speed and excitement of a good game of
Rugby!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And just enough biff and blood
that you feel like youāre watching a bit of a blood sport as well! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no body armor!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, when those guys go down, thereās gonna be
bones broken, and good old fashioned concussions!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They make āem tough down under! {Kidding,
kidding, I fully understand and appreciate the dangers of broken bones and
concussions!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>;0) }) </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_DUQyOV5lili3jEYYkduGEB_tQEXbyKAFmR0w7vRXk3ZsIcHnAQ_ODftNHeUgtlAAIa7XeD_47mY-3FRSeCS2oUEGyvQjOz_CC6gElGa3WACebmb_rOVCARf0vcBjvEhiUTHKHXL8cms/s1600/DSCN0137.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwLkgWd4s5KqWIUqxCOKxY2A-Fv8EeAs4YDtlY-GkxtzGhJ2N0JYklWedE3CQv22Jh-LAUrmd681JosjgTaS0w_AdyPxnJ692-Swvink3LEqk8xTrUxe8_KSfUCK1oxlkzdHaxcGQuTmo/s1600/DSCN0168.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwLkgWd4s5KqWIUqxCOKxY2A-Fv8EeAs4YDtlY-GkxtzGhJ2N0JYklWedE3CQv22Jh-LAUrmd681JosjgTaS0w_AdyPxnJ692-Swvink3LEqk8xTrUxe8_KSfUCK1oxlkzdHaxcGQuTmo/s1600/DSCN0168.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Big bro, Bob. Playing some cool old tunes!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Seeing my dearest old cousin after what turned out to be
decades, and felt like just a little while!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were close all those years ago, both in childhood and at that awful time in adolescence where
itās so important to have someone who doesnāt judge you and find you wanting,
someone to mutter with about all the people in the family who piss you off for
one reason or another. We would slope off and smoke and mutter and laugh a lot.
He was always fun and funny, always could make me laugh, even when things
seemed dire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I was looking at him
the other night, reminiscing about the old days, as he was singing a really beautiful
song, accompanied by my mother, and with a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>huge lump in my throat, I suddenly realized
another thing about him that I perhaps hadnāt ever realized before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think he saved me, way back then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because even though we were both a little
mixed up/messed up by our circumstances, and struggling to figure ourselves
out, he actually became my rock for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The one I could tell anything to, the one who wouldnāt judge, the one
who would still be there the next day no matter what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A good, comfortable place to lean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had that same feeling the moment I saw him
again this time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Itās a rare feeling, I
think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A comfortable place to lean, or a
soft place to land.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Perhaps that's why his kids undoubtedly love him, even at that age where it's not so cool - and even in public!! Haha! </span>I doubt I was any
kind of a rock to him, because I was terribly un-rock-like back in the day, but
I do know he loves me dearly for whatever reasons, because I felt it again
right away. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dear Adrian. Favorite of
all the cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems almost
criminal that we lost touch for so long, but how lovely to just click right
back into the old feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As terrible,
sporadic communication skills is a trait in this family, it seems likely that
we will drift back into that āonce in a decadeā kinda communication again, but
I donāt MEAN for it to happen that way, and Iāll try my best to do better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meeting Adrianās absolutely lovely partner,
Lyn, and his two gorgeous boys, Chris and Joe, were extra highlights and I
basked in these lovely moments of reconnection and new meetings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcYx4CoSdh2gb89MoIEXRNwbrtVCREV5qBRaPdHeJYXe9vPry2zQk78TjHKDxji2cD7ON2RAau48wTib4AocU1B6VUXZFJTeDnjT8ms1_bY4GVIPGYxzL_cOWfN1rXP-BGcjyQT2CnkVY/s1600/DSCN0177.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcYx4CoSdh2gb89MoIEXRNwbrtVCREV5qBRaPdHeJYXe9vPry2zQk78TjHKDxji2cD7ON2RAau48wTib4AocU1B6VUXZFJTeDnjT8ms1_bY4GVIPGYxzL_cOWfN1rXP-BGcjyQT2CnkVY/s1600/DSCN0177.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful people! Cousin Adrian, Joe and Chris, and Lyn.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGmeeMwXkpPuV1qfJcFlW4dh6ZRcmIM6PlSD2MC4-QsiLPmJW0EBhDwFEg5Ec3VHk7T3rDqrVbH2Js7SqOK-NjIaXOD243hSl5BWMDFYc84H1qR_smL8rljHvma5HCPd-P-bZH59mvaRE/s1600/DSCN0181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGmeeMwXkpPuV1qfJcFlW4dh6ZRcmIM6PlSD2MC4-QsiLPmJW0EBhDwFEg5Ec3VHk7T3rDqrVbH2Js7SqOK-NjIaXOD243hSl5BWMDFYc84H1qR_smL8rljHvma5HCPd-P-bZH59mvaRE/s1600/DSCN0181.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bob and Adrian singing an awesome old duet. And that's my Benny in the background!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have a lovely extended family, and once again I wished my
own kids could have been there, enjoying these rare moments, perhaps even seeing their
own mother in a different light!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Itās
hard for kids to see their parents as people, I think, with hopes and dreams,
desires and fears, but itās something that occurs to you somewhere along the
path, and itās always interesting when it does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Itās been interesting to me getting to see my own mother as a person enduring
the struggles, instead of just knowing Mum who fixes things and plays the
piano.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Interesting times.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We threw a āLetās get plasteredā party for nephew Ben, who
spent a few weeks with me before his first birthday, and with only a few months
between him and my Rachel, it was like having twins!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was the most placid, lovely baby and heās
a beautiful young guy now, who has pretty much finished his apprenticeship and
is now qualified as a plasterer/(sheetrock dude, whatever itās called in America!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a fun party, with lots of very silly/funny/cool
performances and some good speeches, but I hope Ben knows how proud we all are
of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heās the most gentle, loveable
guy, and has the most beautiful, sweet girlfriend, Rachel, who I liked
immediately on meeting her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have
said theyāll save their pennies and come to America to visit, which I would
love!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6j7Jazqe9AqV7bNRplchN8zPcZDtCuZYwY_HgfrWm3_E9fA47PfXa0qt3QdQo1MQ0mZP9IVo1uLlZf0Ut2Z82ysskSyWirORUGEAUF5P6U-v-jtrLVD3_wM4p9YAsegugmqO0r62EoE0/s1600/DSCN0211.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6j7Jazqe9AqV7bNRplchN8zPcZDtCuZYwY_HgfrWm3_E9fA47PfXa0qt3QdQo1MQ0mZP9IVo1uLlZf0Ut2Z82ysskSyWirORUGEAUF5P6U-v-jtrLVD3_wM4p9YAsegugmqO0r62EoE0/s1600/DSCN0211.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The general theme!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTvmwwPrUnepgnnxE4MrPmp-9DC1SxSra8FzBCD8n-0QAk2EY-0wMPbRJkHZVf0eN5JtobYD1ccr9XCxlJg_JTFroINsSJB1ITdvC_T9pImiqL-iFsaeuYZ9hyphenhyphenSUx6Fo_nUJbH74ulijQ/s1600/DSCN0213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTvmwwPrUnepgnnxE4MrPmp-9DC1SxSra8FzBCD8n-0QAk2EY-0wMPbRJkHZVf0eN5JtobYD1ccr9XCxlJg_JTFroINsSJB1ITdvC_T9pImiqL-iFsaeuYZ9hyphenhyphenSUx6Fo_nUJbH74ulijQ/s1600/DSCN0213.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Party time - woot, woot!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQH1rpXWtW9hfr5iCvwJ-Ux0qQg_TI5MkqHNnrtezZr56Osa2AHA-_-b492Jkbd3dInkSgT4FfB_bm8nSGpVolHdQQLLksm1wSdC7l7JsqvaMPunboPpU7GcELs0d9mTwloCVnqthwXtc/s1600/cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQH1rpXWtW9hfr5iCvwJ-Ux0qQg_TI5MkqHNnrtezZr56Osa2AHA-_-b492Jkbd3dInkSgT4FfB_bm8nSGpVolHdQQLLksm1wSdC7l7JsqvaMPunboPpU7GcELs0d9mTwloCVnqthwXtc/s1600/cake.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Let's get Plastered cake masterpiece.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsTAzY6ONdpW3J485UKQQKVSZ4uwZlsNTGFnsaLypKWmIh3QZw7jcBdtBBVgFfnZRz6IftejbsIACUcDBhbNbPo1uXYbVoCQNLQf0EhUfigL937BEWwMw4Iwae0AGgGjCFB1tORrft9ao/s1600/DSCN0209.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsTAzY6ONdpW3J485UKQQKVSZ4uwZlsNTGFnsaLypKWmIh3QZw7jcBdtBBVgFfnZRz6IftejbsIACUcDBhbNbPo1uXYbVoCQNLQf0EhUfigL937BEWwMw4Iwae0AGgGjCFB1tORrft9ao/s1600/DSCN0209.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even Granma smirked a little!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other nephews, Mark and Jake were
there too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A beautiful, gentle young
guy, with a lovely generous nature, I didnāt hear Jake play his trumpet
personally this time, but I heard some recordings that made my jaw literally fall
open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This guy has a gift from wherever
himself, and I truly hope I hear him play live one day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Mark is an intensely handsome young guy
with a gentle and calming kind of spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A father himself these days, he is a delight to spend some time with,
and I loved every moment with all of these beautiful nephews.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCmd_uSvV3EeUmS0KesTM6aqCDzJ_B4AmxbZ7RZdYGAlBOcH6MBJleWzAubbbGZpvA-ygOXiPdtjGM1kSv-U3IcgWw4BhVZ-_-FPUhsxKYVOtjyxMm-FdIrRDcZ9rtxFd0ThyphenhyphenOxIkTX_M/s1600/DSCN0223.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCmd_uSvV3EeUmS0KesTM6aqCDzJ_B4AmxbZ7RZdYGAlBOcH6MBJleWzAubbbGZpvA-ygOXiPdtjGM1kSv-U3IcgWw4BhVZ-_-FPUhsxKYVOtjyxMm-FdIrRDcZ9rtxFd0ThyphenhyphenOxIkTX_M/s1600/DSCN0223.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another gorgeous nephew - Handsome Jake</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRjUJw-cwPxVrL0RYppqhX6058OfmBXxUoDae_zw4gc_l8JXRjByQmX9IZjvlsmL4YgPqa8kh83fOkTEQHUapvqB5o8U6PZwRZfijJXfVEC-xVadnMF-CtmXBtq17h5ENd7q9Gz3ViB9U/s1600/DSCN0228.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRjUJw-cwPxVrL0RYppqhX6058OfmBXxUoDae_zw4gc_l8JXRjByQmX9IZjvlsmL4YgPqa8kh83fOkTEQHUapvqB5o8U6PZwRZfijJXfVEC-xVadnMF-CtmXBtq17h5ENd7q9Gz3ViB9U/s1600/DSCN0228.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family out to eat. Gorgeous nephew, Mark, the only one looking!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was surprised at
how instantly I became an Aussie again. Everyone commented on my complete lack
of an American accent, but I think it just disappeared as the familiar Oz accent
hit my ears!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I rather enjoyed using the
slang, and not having to explain what I meant!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And very much enjoyed constantly hearing those two familiar words ā Gādaymate, 'owyagoin?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(In case anyoneās ever
wondered, someone once said to Mike and I ā āI was so angry, I just had two
words for him, Gādaymate, 'owyagoin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mike
was thoroughly tickled by it, and I could see him counting up exactly how many
words had actually been compressed to make just two!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became one of those things you jokingly say
to each other when youāre trying to make a long story short, or when youāre
just being too wordy and, incidentally, itās how this blog was named!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enough, speaking of being too wordy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are a thousand little stories, but thatās
a nutshell version for today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thereās hundreds
of pics, but a lot of them are dreadful, blurry messes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See how I need my husband??!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks for the memories, Oz.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And thank you for the many gifts of these last few weeks, wherever they
came from!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here's a few random extra shots in no particular order. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeWm_Gv2vR774AdHjzqMtYxlCP6nVoAVjpuv1WbDQIw1YI9fqtNc4uHVFjipWdz8rL94aFvdp7t0fd_L8wggLXBD8guctuDR-VBXtZ1YsVSi0og7DedNQ0sInKYdS9SGvCBDp7rigjQt8/s1600/DSCN0219.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeWm_Gv2vR774AdHjzqMtYxlCP6nVoAVjpuv1WbDQIw1YI9fqtNc4uHVFjipWdz8rL94aFvdp7t0fd_L8wggLXBD8guctuDR-VBXtZ1YsVSi0og7DedNQ0sInKYdS9SGvCBDp7rigjQt8/s1600/DSCN0219.JPG" height="217" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Father and son - Bob and Ben.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ0k8nal8xOKPPgPbux7lbS7lVVFK9D5I0mKVxshOL-2zv1H5WBK49tWz3Uuus2UGPfFBZqQyAgJU_zCfR3baQnrBTrT0DHItMJUsMGYWoYNukPbswC3O6671KVNZCpefeoUSIax7-Wx8/s1600/chrissy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ0k8nal8xOKPPgPbux7lbS7lVVFK9D5I0mKVxshOL-2zv1H5WBK49tWz3Uuus2UGPfFBZqQyAgJU_zCfR3baQnrBTrT0DHItMJUsMGYWoYNukPbswC3O6671KVNZCpefeoUSIax7-Wx8/s1600/chrissy.jpg" height="320" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chrissy with Jake and Chris</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQCaeVFO0H_rWSQgOdIckkU_ORdK4rMB2BnplL9AXr7yynpXf-Bbv9YQV6tsBGVt5xYet3XMKf-s_kTBvIdwt74naeEwx6TvGt_bap2Z1gGx-qHSyKiX2tgT2jEMvygefhnXSKchtI0U0/s1600/DSCN0139.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQCaeVFO0H_rWSQgOdIckkU_ORdK4rMB2BnplL9AXr7yynpXf-Bbv9YQV6tsBGVt5xYet3XMKf-s_kTBvIdwt74naeEwx6TvGt_bap2Z1gGx-qHSyKiX2tgT2jEMvygefhnXSKchtI0U0/s1600/DSCN0139.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hanging with ex husband number one!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWQ9QmjnsCZAz3a15Abm5bk-MsO3PFPOYshqJWylGJ-WdHN6mkuakmLH7DINjWk4lut8875X0wTkrUQpLSA-F1NqYqsdqxGmMILtHYhLJ43CC8sEfR34p-0LXCu-x8ZmZZnhP4UsjJQUY/s1600/marc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWQ9QmjnsCZAz3a15Abm5bk-MsO3PFPOYshqJWylGJ-WdHN6mkuakmLH7DINjWk4lut8875X0wTkrUQpLSA-F1NqYqsdqxGmMILtHYhLJ43CC8sEfR34p-0LXCu-x8ZmZZnhP4UsjJQUY/s1600/marc.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and ex husband number two!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfFRoW7KmN5CQQ6GKuIsNDOastbz0UwaTizIEjxjvFfLG-2Dyea7J_sixO1eUlXGeM3W4mqqtG8IulzG8NkBjx2A3JEudpg-fPvWgBc90UJn5CIagMr_sagU40iEr1HCrrNbe0dWTPC9U/s1600/benaboo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfFRoW7KmN5CQQ6GKuIsNDOastbz0UwaTizIEjxjvFfLG-2Dyea7J_sixO1eUlXGeM3W4mqqtG8IulzG8NkBjx2A3JEudpg-fPvWgBc90UJn5CIagMr_sagU40iEr1HCrrNbe0dWTPC9U/s1600/benaboo.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Ben and me selfie!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rainy Good Friday in Sydney. There's that bridge again - the coathanger, as it's affectionately known, in the way background!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hhmm, could there be an easier way to return home??!</td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-2199582314466772782014-11-25T17:26:00.002-08:002014-11-25T17:33:40.765-08:00One Tough Mother!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās been a scary couple of days. In fact, itās been surprisingly
incapacitating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been hunched up
on my couch, waiting for my phone to ring, waiting for the hammer to fall,
waiting for the end of life as I know it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep, my Mum has been ill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But not just any kind of ill. In the space of a week, she went from
being the healthiest octogenarian on the planet, to one of the sickest. Really
no need for detail, but she was flown by air ambulance to Sydney, where she was
immediately rushed in for a 4 Ā½ hour surgery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Before she went, my siblings (and me by phone) were given that warning
that we all dread. Her chances were not all that good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so we waited.</div>
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And damned if that tough old bird didnāt come through it
with flying colors, and immediately start improving!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much to the amazement of doctors and family
alike, she rallied and began her recovery, and a mere five hours post surgery,
she and I had a very dozey, but perfectly wonderful, Skype call, where she even
managed to joke when I told her she looked amazing, saying that amazing is not
necessarily a positive word!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We Skyped
again today, and she told me my new glasses look good and, with a grin, that they
made me look intelligent!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A heartwarming
insult, for sure!</div>
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I am off my couch, cautiously optimistic, understanding that
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for not only her stamina, but for how much her continued presence in this world
means to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For two years, Iāve struggled with the thought of that long
journey, knowing that I will be in agony after a 24 hour journey, that my head
may not turn to left or right for my entire visit!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iāve put off the idea over and over, never
dreaming there could be a ātoo lateā scenario. Just thinking that surely I must
start to improve soon. And with the latest round of treatment, I have, finally,
had some improvements. And so Iām planning my visit for just as soon as sheās
able to enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to fly away
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house and able to enjoy the visit, so Iāll wait for that time. And the way sheās
going, it wonāt be long!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Side note ā donāt
run red lights, people. You can change someoneās life in a heartbeat!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if you read this as my friend, or if you happen upon it
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into the world for us, be it prayer, positive energy, good vibes or healing
white light! Whatever you believe in, send it along!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know Iāve spent the week praying to a God
who Iāve never even been sure about, thinking endlessly positive thoughts, and
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My siblings are with her, sheās in one of the finest
hospitals in Australia, and if thoughts, prayers and love can help pull her
through, then she should be just fine!</div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās Thanksgiving week, people!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guess what Iām thankful for today!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-52624164851717858612014-07-29T03:41:00.000-07:002014-07-29T03:41:09.320-07:00Wonderful Wedding Weekend<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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And so it is done. We are home from a wonderful few days at
Pawtuckaway State Park, where Melly married Patrick in a really beautiful
ceremony, in a really beautiful setting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Today, Iām doing that reliving thing, making sure that various things
are set firmly in my memory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Photos are
wonderful, of course, but there are things that I want in my head ā snapshots
in time that I can pull up at any time. Visuals, sure, but words, smells,
feelings. They are my special snapshots!</div>
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There are, of course, plenty of actual photos though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A very lovely man named Pat took the pro
shots and they will be available a little later, but in the meantime,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>looky here friends, family and folks!</div>
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Mel and Patrick with Steven and Mike, creators of Pawtuckaway Wedding Ale</div>
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Friday night camping dinner with family and friends and, below, a brilliant new use for an underused canoe! </div>
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Family and good friends gathered in this beautiful, woodsy setting and below, a good friend of both bride and groom, Fred, got ready to officiate! </div>
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Fred and Patrick wait for the main event and, below, the bride's sister and maid of honor, Rachel, and the groom's brother and best man, Kevin, walk down the aisle! </div>
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And then she comes, this beautiful bride! On the arm of Mike, who was so proud to be walking her down the aisle and, below, delivering her to her future husband!</div>
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A beautiful exchange of vows between bride and groom and, below, a kiss to seal the deal. I love this picture of Mr and Mrs Flynn!! </div>
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Happy and emotional parents of the bride (who forgot their tissues!) </div>
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The best family picture in forever, (thanks to Patrick's brother, Kevin) and, below, some excellent time spent with awesome old friends, Mike and Karen! So glad they joined us! </div>
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Mike had this little Troy-shadow during the reception and, below, I got a turn with both boys! </div>
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We caught up with Monica and Travis, who now live close enough to join us and, below, we ate and ate and drank and drank some more!</div>
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Nana and Maxwell spent a little time together and, below, there was wiffle ball for all those who had the energy after all that food and drink!</div>
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There were brownies galore, made by me and, below, S'mores galore, made by Mel, Rachel and friends as giveaway wedding favors! Mmm....good! </div>
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Then there was the traditional cake ceremony. Look at these guys...I love them! And then, below, we chilled around an enormous campfire, drank a little too much, ate more burgers and dogs and chatted about the day. </div>
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It was 100% awesome. We loved all of it and now we are home
again, as the newlyweds head off on an epic, month long road trip honeymoon
traveling around the country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much love
and best wishes to Melly and Patrick, the new Mr and Mrs Flynn,and thank you
for some awesome memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Itās what us oldies
live on, you know!</div>
<br /><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-34573798634698103072014-05-11T11:08:00.001-07:002014-05-11T11:08:20.455-07:00Reminiscing <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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On this Motherās Day, 2014, Iāve been sitting here thinking,
obviously, about what being a mother meant to me ā and means to me still as I
sit in my empty nest!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Itās thirty-two
years since I held my first born in my arms. I was nineteen, and overwhelmed
with the awesome responsibility of it all, terrified that I would mess it up,
that I would mess him up, that I would just fail. I had spent my pregnancy
reading everything I could get my hands on, and academically, I knew exactly
what to do in any circumstance, from tantrums to choking to swearing to head
lice!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew exactly when the milestones
were supposed to occur. I knew how to swaddle, to change nappies (!) to burp,
to bathe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surprisingly, I was somewhat
shocked to immediately feel this strong mother bear sensation as I looked at
him, and know that I loved him completely and endlessly, and realize, with a
jolt, that I would quite literally kill for him, or die for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I knew every practical baby/child tidbit
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Even though I was overwhelmed with love, I was kinda rigid
in my parenting style. Determined as I was to prove wrong all those who thought
I was too young, I stuck to a plan and a schedule and was mildly surprised to
find it worked very well. He did things when they were āsupposedā to be done,
he was cheerful, he thrived!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yay for me,
I thought. Iām pretty damn good at this!</div>
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Until he was two or three and he asserted his independence
and resentment of the rigid schedule!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
all hell began to break loose. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shit, I
thought. It was a foolās paradise. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iām a
sucky mother after all!</div>
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Melanie came along when Danny was four. I thought I didnāt
care about the sex of this second baby, but clearly that was something I just
said because itās what youāre supposed to say, because I was over the top
thrilled with my baby girl. Not only a girl-child, but a beautiful, pale, plump
cheeked cherub with huge, calm, bright blue eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a little more understanding of how the
whole mothering thing worked by then, so I was less rigid but no less in
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember sitting looking at them
one day, as Danny leaped somewhat suicidally off the back of the couch, his
Superman cape flying out behind him, and just missed Mel, who had started to
crawl, and although my heart was pounding, I was overwhelmed with love for them
both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somehow, we had created these
remarkable, scary little people!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Amazing.</div>
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And Steven came squawking into our world a year and a half
after Mel, a little blue man, with the cord wrapped around his neck and needing
all sorts of attention, like suctioning and monitoring. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was colicky and shrieky for the first few
months, refused to breastfeed as happily as his siblings had, and was<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>just a completely different child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was just as in love, of course, but I was overprotective
of him, less inclined to be patient and understanding if he was in danger from
his overactive brotherās antics. At six months old, I gave up the breast
feeding battle, gave him a bottle and watched him suddenly thrive! Jeez!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From that day to this, I never judge any
mother who chooses, for whatever reason, not to breastfeed!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To each his own, indeed!</div>
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And with that, I was all done!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more for me. I would throw myself into
being the best possible mother of these three beautiful and much loved people.
I was much more relaxed by now, and much less rigid. But still, I had no desire
to be their best friend. I was their mother, and I had a job to do!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was easier back then because everyone felt
the same way!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No was a word they needed
to learn at home, because the adult world is full of ānoās, and how will they
know how to handle it if they never hear it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yep, there would be time for friendship when they became adults, perhaps!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Call me old-fashioned ā I still think itās
the best way!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I was a decent mother for the next few years. My
life revolved around theirs. From sporting <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>events, to regular play dates, to craft times
and birthday parties and bedtime stories and endless lullabies. I tried to
adjust my parenting to their individual personalities and tried to figure out
the challenges in creative ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved
them all so passionately, and I wanted the world for them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And suddenly, unexpectedly (but joyously, only ever
joyously) there was Rachel! Born in her sisterās image, she was so gorgeous,
another plump, pale and blue eyed beauty. And how everyone adored her, this
late addition!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were battles over
who would hold her next, who would push the stroller, who would dress her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was calm and easy. She fed well, slept
well and was a delight for us all!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Decisions were made over the next decade and our lives
changed radically. I made the decisions for all of us ā with trepidation, with
hope. No decision was ever made that wasnāt mulled over, slept on, considered
from all angles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no decision (even
the biggest of them all) was made without everyone in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So some things worked out well, and others
did not, and thatās life, I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know they know I love them as fiercely as I did on the day they were born, when
I whispered thoughts and promises into their new ears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kept to those promises as best I could, and
on one of them especially, I have never wavered. I promise to love you through
anything in your life and mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sweet
four.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They think I have favorites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But we mothers know, donāt we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are no favorites at all ā there never have been or could be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are just different relationships, is
all. What works for one doesnāt work for another, and what one needs, another
one does not, and I hate that that can be seen as favoritism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could no more choose one over another than
fly in the air!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I love that they are
different, from me and from each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love that they are good people, who care about each other
and the world around them. That they are strong and tough, that they meet their
own challenges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love that they
have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>good work ethics <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and empathy and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish the world for them on this motherās day and always,
and while everyone is thanking their mothers today, I want to thank my
kids!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks for being such great kids!
Fun, funny, creative, smart, caring and cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And all that and cute too!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I love them to the moooooooon and backā¦ forever!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-57899415362542507312013-04-17T13:04:00.000-07:002013-04-17T13:04:19.501-07:00No forgiveness here<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Someone sent me a forwarded message which suggested that the
way back, after all this horror, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is to
fill our hearts with love and light, and find forgiveness in our hearts for the
perpetrators.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The way <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bostonians
rallied after the tragedy, the amazing generosity of body and spirit, the
solidarity, the courage ā there is much to admire and respect, and my heart is
full as I read peopleās stories. It is hard to fathom how hundreds of people
put aside thoughts of their own safety, and rushed headlong into the middle of
such a huge mess. I am floored by the scenes Iām seeing. So many people running
instinctively TOWARD the area where the bombs exploded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It boggles my mind, but I am filled with
admiration and huge respect. I wonder how many of us have that sort of selfless
caring in us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Theyāre inspirational. And
they show us something which keeps that little spark of hope alive. There<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> is</i> humanity, there<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> is</i> still love and there<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> is</i>
still hope.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12.0pt;">
But donāt talk to me about
forgiveness. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I donāt want to get forwarded messages
purporting to be from angels, (that one is particularly offensive) explaining
how to go on with understanding and forgiveness in our hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do not mention forgiveness to me unless <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your</i> beautiful, beloved daughter was <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>within yards of the finish line, as mine was, right in
between the two blasts, suffering the hellish terror of the event. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will debate forgiveness with you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only</i> if you can tell me you shared the agony
of those two minutes of waiting for her to respond. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12.0pt;">
Two minutes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two millennia.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I, like millions of others, stand with Boston as recovery
begins, to show that Boston survives, America survives, we survive with
strength and purpose. You did not win anything, you miserable, cowardly <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>fuckers. You brought us to our knees, but
today we stumble to our feet and begin to shuffle forward and by tomorrow we
will gather our strength and our stride will gain purpose once more. They will
not stop the spirit of Boston, even though they slow our pace and make us as a
people grieve as one.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i> keeping love
and immense caring and respect in my heart for those who suffered most, love
for those whose suffering will continue endlessly as they come to terms with
disabilities and devastating loss <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and
love for those who showed so much care and love themselves, as they helped
those unfortunate injured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> lost<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>faith in humanity, as Mondayās horror showed us the best as well as the
worst<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ā and I am not filled up with the need for vengeance, but I am not ashamed to say that
I hope there is a miserable death waiting for these criminals who, on
Monday, changed the face of a beautiful sunny Boston afternoon. No forgiveness or understanding here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Do not forward <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bullshit emails to me about forgiveness .</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remain inspired by the good, amazed and uplifted by the spirit of hope - but I still hope the perpetrators die slowly, and I hope thereās a Hell. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-63043938946626445912012-12-19T05:31:00.002-08:002012-12-19T05:32:22.927-08:00No More Bah Humbug<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I prepare to celebrate Christmas 2012, with this pall of
tragedy draped heavily over it, I feel a kind of responsibility to find
the joy in the season, as those lost babies in Connecticut would have. I feel a
need to join in with the rampant overabundance of this holiday season and
remember, with every step I take and every cent I spend, how lucky I am to be
able to do it. I feel a sense of urgency when I think of Christmas with my kids
this year, to celebrate it all to its fullest extent. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know how lucky I am. . .and I wonāt whine about any of it.
I will <i>not</i> allow the doom and gloom to win. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This world can be a sad, cold-hearted bitch at times, for
sure, but we are alive in it today. I am off to find conscious joy in the shopping
and the cooking and the decorating and yes, even in the spending, because Iām
alive to do it. It would feel wrong to do otherwise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In honor of twenty six people who have died too soon, I will
celebrate Christmas with all of the love and joy and excitement that this
season <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i> bring to us. And that
feels right and respectful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No more bah humbug.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are alive. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-50101912641126179682012-11-01T07:59:00.000-07:002012-11-01T07:59:11.430-07:00I will vote!
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for President Barack Obama next Tuesday. Because inheriting
a spiraling mess is a huge challenge for an incoming president, and I realize
that it takes many years to slow that spiral and start an improvement. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Because </span>I believe that President Obama deserves his 8
years to fix President Bushās mess. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
deficit we have now came about as a result of funding two <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wars and providing an economic stimulus to
avoid a second great depression ā which would have been MUCH worse for most of
us than where we are now, recovering from recession. When I take that into
account, and then add in the frustrating consequences of congressional
republicans deliberately blocking bills, and then laying the blame at the
Presidentās feet, I must, in all good conscience, give him my vote of confidence
for a second term and hope that the next Congress will be more reasonable in
their decision making, perhaps basing their choices on the validity of the
bills, rather than the ājust say noā game weāve seen with this congress. It is
a truly pathetic congress who ignores the well-being of their constituents in
favor of blocking progress just to scupper a president. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for President Obama because in spite of
congress, in spite of his presidential inheritance, he has managed to move the
country in the right direction. He could not wave a magic wand over the mess,
but jobs are coming back, slow and steady. Manufacturing industries are
beginning to thrive again. The war in Iraq is over. Troops in Afghanistan will
be coming home soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Osama Bin Laden
is dead.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Itās actually a pretty damn good four years work. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for President Obama because I want my LGBT
friends to enjoy the same rights as I do. The right to marry whomever they
choose, to have children, to be at a hospital bedside without question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a deep appreciation for President
Obamaās consideration of the issue, and his subsequent announcement of support.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is progress. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for President Obama because past progress should
not be wiped out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because Roe v. Wade
should never be revisited in the Supreme Court. Because women sometimes need to
have abortions, for physical reasons, emotional reasons, medical reasons and
practical reasons <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NOT</b> just reasons that are approved by a testosterone heavy and
old-fashioned government!) and the potential loss of the right to make those
decisions is an appalling step backward in terms of womenās rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because removing funding for Planned
Parenthood would be a catastrophe for women who rely on it for screening tests,
advice on their own health and wellbeing and yes, abortions when necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will vote for President Obama because he
is still pushing for equal pay for women, even though the senate republicans
have once again blocked the bill this past June, proving that stopping progress
by playing politics is more important to them than the rights of their female
constituents. What other possible reason could they have had?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will actively vote against this backward
and trivial group of people, who are playing politics while women continue
their age old struggles.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will actively vote against pushing women back into the
desperation of backyard abortion clinics and/or a return to homestyle
gin/coathanger DIY abortions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will
actively vote against removing rights we have, for which our female forebears fought
a long and hard battle. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for President Obama because of course education
is the future of the American economy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of course it is. Pushing for more teachers, better resources, and
smaller classrooms is an investment in the next generation.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for President Obama because he is unlikely to
lead us into world conflicts with an ill-chosen comment. His measured words and
carefully considered actions and reactions on the worldās political stage are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">much</i> less likely to endanger or embarrass
us. Just in the past year, we have seen Governor Romneyās performance on that
world stage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I donāt think heās a bad
person, as such, but I have fears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Insulting an ally is just embarrassing, but an ill-considered comment
elsewhere could lead us into yet more conflict.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A careful and responsible president seems imperative in a volatile
world. My money is firmly on President Obama.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He may not be a perfect president and, being human, mistakes
are to be expected, but we, as a country, are coming back. Recovery is
everywhere, in increased<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>job growth, in
troops arriving home, in assembly lines producing American cars, in the
reduction of foreclosures, month by month. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Possibilities are everywhere, in the potential
for thousands of uninsured and underinsured Americans to be able to get medical
treatment without fear of bankruptcy, to have screening tests that theyāve been
putting off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will actively vote <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">for</b> āObamacare.ā<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may not be perfect, but the very idea of
repealing it is repugnant. What is it with congressional republicans that they
feel this need to stay where we are, wallowing in the status quo. The
Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) is a mighty step forward, in an area that
needed a mighty step forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will
undoubtedly have teething troubles, but I will give it a chance,
willingly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will take that mighty step
forward happily, and with confidence. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will vote for a continuation of the direction weāre going,
for compassion and decency for women, and for progress.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even staunch and vocal Romney supporter, Chris Christie (R ā
NJ) sang the praises of our president yesterday, as they worked hand in hand
for the needs of those who have suffered in the storm. Governor Christie has,
rather surprisingly, shown the way. Put politics aside and look at the
man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hatred and nonsensical partisan
politics should have no real place in decision making.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonāt spread the hatred by jumping on the
insult bandwagon, but Iāll share what I like, and dislike, about two men, and
their potential for improving America. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will be voting for President Barack Obama on Tuesday. It
will be my first vote in a general election since becoming a US citizen in
2010, and I am proud and honored to contribute my vote to this country that I
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember how hard those who came
before us fought for that right before you decide not to bother. Ignore the
bullshit, as much as possible, and look at the facts. (There are web sites for
that!!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And remember, if you donāt vote,
complaining about the outcome later is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i>
the right thing to do!</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whatever direction your political opinion take you, let it
take you to the polls next Tuesday.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Vote, vote, vote!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-58040081908275937242012-10-16T12:33:00.001-07:002012-10-16T12:33:03.865-07:00Being patientI am a busy person. It's true that I don't go out to work each day, but I still don't really do "down time" all that well. Normally I have a bunch of school work, somewhere to go, something that HAS to be painted, designed, sewn, written, read, crafted, knitted - well, you see how it is. Or, rather, how it was.<br />
They tell me I'll get back there - I'm trying to believe.<br />
Meanwhile, there's always some crap on TV or a movie I've never bothered to see. And the couches are reasonably comfortable, so perhaps I should be grateful for those small mercies.<br />
And they do keep telling me I'll get back there...<br />
<br />
Today was a good day, though. I finished up this painting of Jazzi looking sheepish!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKAKXH3iIZNJJoHbYoDgGrvDqMCzIp0-lU4T8satKI6CZq8G2-9h6qHHnnmmAly1QLic8XcHdHKvT4849j1yhvs6ci0A9QHReckuETlI8cGsMqG-XS6iApRzSkYk6GvIFccecN670bhpA/s1600/paintedjazzi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKAKXH3iIZNJJoHbYoDgGrvDqMCzIp0-lU4T8satKI6CZq8G2-9h6qHHnnmmAly1QLic8XcHdHKvT4849j1yhvs6ci0A9QHReckuETlI8cGsMqG-XS6iApRzSkYk6GvIFccecN670bhpA/s320/paintedjazzi.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
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And I did a quick painting of Tipsy curled up behind her tail and glaring at me with those evil eyes which so clearly say, "wtf was wrong with life without a second cat, anyway?"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPlxgoq0Qz-6Q3JdM0RZPwhXLqRpv0O8K0llA0zZYoF4nwED6SbX94PdrcXAc8UxnYHpys-Yi7CCkKcoDkyjKIFlJ7yjp0NVqZeyt2egN4C3g36mbbquYA6aMOF5kgmG_KRo6VQrP2yM/s1600/2tips.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPlxgoq0Qz-6Q3JdM0RZPwhXLqRpv0O8K0llA0zZYoF4nwED6SbX94PdrcXAc8UxnYHpys-Yi7CCkKcoDkyjKIFlJ7yjp0NVqZeyt2egN4C3g36mbbquYA6aMOF5kgmG_KRo6VQrP2yM/s320/2tips.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And then I did this self-portrait, which is as yet untitled, but will probably be called something like - "Swamped by all the crazy." LOL - Well, that's what I was feeling when I was throwing that color around, anyway.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcLwm6SWdJnMMUrHYKrUI6Z0l-rHoGPNeW1c9SyPdiOIc9OLh_E3pZ8-ICwBnflGS-NrVTtWTycgM7JLegcJIScA4ohzdTrSg6c-ORXWp4BOtxQlOdM_WvE9d47TJJwNf7nPohPnVZRG8/s1600/mepic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcLwm6SWdJnMMUrHYKrUI6Z0l-rHoGPNeW1c9SyPdiOIc9OLh_E3pZ8-ICwBnflGS-NrVTtWTycgM7JLegcJIScA4ohzdTrSg6c-ORXWp4BOtxQlOdM_WvE9d47TJJwNf7nPohPnVZRG8/s320/mepic.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
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<br />
Not the most artistically immaculate art I've ever created, but a bit of fun anyway. Exhausted - feel like I did waaaay more than I actually did today, so back on the couch with an early glass of wine and some cheese and crackers. Now, where were we, Dr. Phil/Judge Judy/Family Guy/Presidential Debate!<br />
<br />
Have a cool and colorful day, and remember that it's all about being patient.<br />
<br />
At least - that's what they tell me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-47795879947458470722012-09-23T12:14:00.002-07:002012-09-23T12:14:58.884-07:00the colors<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are wispy, bright white clouds up there today, in a
sky that is a bright, summery blue, belying the distinct fall chill that wafts over
me with every little puff of breeze. There is a silence here for now, at Great
Meadows Campground, but itās race weekend in Loudon, and before long, the avid
race-goers will return and take up their temporary residence in tents and
campers festooned with racing flags. I will enjoy the silence while it lasts. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every so often, the angry chattering of busy chipmunks disturbs
my peace, but I smile as I glance up to the top of the 60 foot pines, enchanted
by their crazy antics and impressed by their agility.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I should be doing the homework load from hell that my
professors have assigned this week, but instead Iām feeling the breeze,
analyzing the exact amount of dioxazine purple I would have to add to pacific
blue to make that sky color, and smiling at the chippies. And occasionally, I sent some good thoughts to a friend who's in labor as we speak, waiting to welcome her little autumn baby boy. Every so often I tell
myself off ā girl, stop daydreaming and pick up that book. Start analyzing
Native American literature, not sky colors. Get on with it!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead, my thoughts turn to apples ā didnāt Rachel say she
was going to make me a pie?? Hint,
hint!! And crisp fall leaves in their
myriad of rampant color swirling around me. And bright yellow butternut squash
and apple soup. And Halloween, pumpkin carving and new ideas I have for
decorations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, fall is all about color, and while it brings the
foreboding of the long, harsh winter, it is definitely to be celebrated,
to be admired. Yes. I shall pull a blanket around me as I sit here at camp, and
I shall revel in the colors.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am fairly incapacitated today. The vertigo I have suffered since the car accident
ramped itself up into the red danger zone yesterday, and threw me down the
basement stairs. Nothing broken,
thankfully, but I am a mass of color myself! Nowhere near as pretty as the colors of fall,
I might add! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This day feels like the medicine I need. Calm, quiet and
serene; blue, white and cool. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās a good day. A surprisingly good day.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-10591913350735451792012-08-09T13:40:00.000-07:002012-08-09T13:40:00.701-07:00Not Your Grampa's Camping!<br />
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
I am lying in the recliner at Great Meadows Campground,
Chichester, NH. We scurried into the camper a little earlier, as the one cloud
above us opened up and bucketed rain down on our home away from home. It lasted
only a few moments, and we hurried outside again, eager to revel in the serenity, to
breathe in the intoxicating smell of the rain blending so perfectly with the
scent from the multitude of pine trees that surround us. Mmmā¦smells like Aussie
Christmas! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jazz and Cleo are here with us, a little confused at the
change of surroundings, but happily snoozing on the grassy patch nearby, and
rushing, maddened, at scurrying chipmunks, only to be hauled up short by their
own leashes. Turns out Jazz can get up a bit of speed over twenty-five feet,
and is most indignant about the sudden stop at the end! And the chipmunk,
pausing barely out of reach, chatters disrespectfully at her. I swear one of them
flipped her off! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gaze up through the tree branches, and look at the quickly
moving clouds. I still find a little secret joy in seeing what is hidden in
them. Even now, a puffy unicorn is galloping across the sky, before morphing
into a long nosed mouse with enormous ears. A wizard, complete with Dumbledoreās
magnificent beard, rolls across the sky, his kindly face gazing down at me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is so real that I send up a frantic wish, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and gaze at him long after he has transformed
into a small, fluffy dog. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What becomes
of my wish now?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a strong and elegant beauty in the sixty foot pines
that surround us here, and I find myself gazing up constantly, admiring the
height, the bareness of the first forty feet of trunk and the proliferation of
pine needles near the top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A chipmunk is
chattering madly at the top of one of them now, and every so often a pine cone
comes hurtling down and smashes into the ground nearby. Mike and I conjecture
as to how much damage it could do if one of them bonked us on the head. After
all, I say, didnāt I read somewhere that a penny thrown from the Eiffel tower
could kill a person?? Ah well, says Mike, calmly. Weāre fine thenā¦money doesnāt
grow on trees!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And we laugh again, as we so often do, and go back to our
own quiet pursuits. It is modern camping, this. We both love the traditional aspects
of camping. The serenity of the great outdoors, the birdsong constantly
surrounding us, even the angry chattering of the chipmunks. The evening
campfire is our greatest joy, and Mike sure does know how to get a fire going!
One evening, he left me in charge of it while he gathered up his fishing gear
and wandered off to the pond for a half hour. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent the entire time desperately trying to
save what had been a perfectly well established fire before he left, tossing in
any number of dry leaves and pine cones to try to get it all riled up again,
poking, prodding, and swearing at it under my breath. It was still burning feebly
when he arrived back, but within minutes was roaring away ferociously. Cursing
at it a little more volubly, I returned to my chair and left him to it. We must
all admit our own shortcomings, and apparently, that is one of mine!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I digress. . . Yes it is modern camping.
Here I sit, immersed in all the glorious beauty of nature, with a laptop on my
lap, brilliant wi-fi connecting me to the world outside, a cell phone with
excellent service sits on the ground by my side, and my Nook is on the table,
charging up for my evening reading session. Mikeās laptop is on the table, his
cell phone never leaves his side and I think I saw his Ipod in his computer bag
as well. Our camper is relatively luxurious, with couches and tables, a kitchen
with a stove, a fridge, a microwave. It has a full bathroom, and a Queen size
bed in the separate bedroom. It has full power throughout, is well screened. It
has a TV, (which doesnāt work and we donāt care...{except if we're here on Thursdays, coz I mean, who misses Project Runway??!}) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a full stereo system, and more cupboard space
than I need! In what is proving to be a difficult summer, it is a true delight
to be here, relaxing, recovering, renewing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My medical instructions are to relax as much as possible, to
allow the muscles in my shoulder, neck and back to heal without the stresses of
everyday life. And my mother assures me that the body will heal itself quicker
if I give in to the idea of passive healing and therapy, at least for now. So I
sit quietly, I donāt use my left arm too much, I rest my head wherever it feels
comfortable, I donāt use an over-arm stroke when I swim, and I wait and wait
and wait for improvement. I go to physical therapy three times each week, and
now I also go to acupuncture three times each week. The physical therapist has
given up telling me how long she thinks it might all take, and my doctor says
my neck muscles still feel like an iron bar, and my shoulders are still not
sitting evenly. Each day starts with a headache, and a couple of times each
week I forget how much I hate taking pills, and swallow a Valium to relax my
muscles and mind and allow me a decent sleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās been a long summer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But for now, Iām here in Camp Heaven, where the chipmunks
are only pretending to be murderous ā hopefully! Where the lichen on the trees
look like a naughty child has splattered great globs of mossy green paint
randomly over the trunks. Where the smell of fresh pine permeates the still
humidity and reminds me of home. And where a frozen burger tossed on an outdoor
grill can taste as succulent and wonderful as any filet mignon. Soon we will
have a swim, and then we will light the fire and that wonderful campfire smell
will waft around us, piney and fragrant. We will gaze up at the stars again,
reminiscing gently, and we will plan the future with all the joy and optimism that
this gorgeous place brings to us. Perhaps tonight we will toast marshmallows
over the fire, reveling in the hot, gooey sweetness and trying to keep it at
toasting, and trying to avoid the incineration!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then we will check our emails, plug in all our
technologies to charge overnight, and go to bed, counting our blessings here in
our cozy little modern cabin in the woods. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās modern camping ā and I love it!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ps....stung by a nasty black waspy looking thing just as I typed that last exclamation point. In true "terrified of bugs" Aussie style, I gathered up everything and rushed inside! Now watching finger swell and feeling it pulsate uncomfortably while cursing the great outdoors! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate camping...lol!!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-62143102384104957062012-04-11T07:43:00.000-07:002012-04-11T07:43:38.484-07:00Birthdays and other little sadnesses<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Though you likely wonāt hear</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
And you surely wonāt see</div>
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And you think that you donāt</div>
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Have a thought left for me.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I love you as much</div>
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As the day you were born</div>
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Through thickest and thinnest</div>
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Through family torn.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I hope you remember</div>
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Plans just went awry</div>
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Til soon <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>never, never</div>
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Was meant as goodbye.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Mistakes with good motive</div>
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Mistakes nonetheless</div>
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The penitence endless</div>
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The heartache no less.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The lights of my life</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Remain bright in my heart</div>
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Forever, my sweet four</div>
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If here or apart.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy 30<sup>th</sup> birthday, Number One!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
x</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-80831059003735328702012-01-30T06:50:00.000-08:002012-01-30T06:50:22.959-08:00Dreamworld<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Last night, I dreamed I was a child again. </div><div class="MsoNormal">In a slightly surreal back garden, suffused in glorious hyper-real color and light, I explored all those nooks and crannies that I know so well. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was full summer, and the heat was heavy and oppressive, even just past daybreak. I slipped out the back door, and breathed deep, filling my lungs with hot air, and smelling those familiar summer garden scents of lavender and lilac. I ran my hand over the plaster sailing ship which inexplicably hung on the verandah wall forever, feeling the dust and cobwebs which were an integral part of it, and brushed off one of the leaves of the elephant ear plant permanently flourishing in the huge iron tub.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A spider ran off the leaf and up my arm, and, dream-calm, I shook it off. I left the shade of the verandah and stepped into the insta-burn sunshine, feeling the joy of the morning silence, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>gazing up at a sky that was unnaturally blue, and wishing I could fly. I reached for the old Hills Hoist rotary clothesline and took a run off, lifting my feet and, eyes tightly closed, I let it spin me around and around, flying after a fashion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Baz, a favorite old black and white cat, watched in slit-eyed disapproval from the garden bench, but no-one else came to stop the forbidden spinning and I tilted my head back and felt the hot breeze kiss my face as I flew. Deliciously dizzy, I ventured into the shade of the cotoneaster tree, an oasis that I considered mine alone. The branches curved to form an umbrella and the interior was cave-like, always cool and dark. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sitting branch beckoned, and I shinnied up, feeling the worn-smooth solidity of my favorite spot in this favorite garden. Without needing to look down, I fiddled with the familiar crochet and macramĆ© branch bracelets that branded the branch as my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was possessive of this space and rarely invited friends to join me there. The wildest of my wild dreams formed as I sat, hidden, on that branch, and even in this dream I felt the adrenaline flow. </div><div class="MsoNormal">My dream pulled me further into the back garden, even as I yearned to remain hidden within the cotoneaster branches, and I stood in front of the peculiar quince tree that was the inspiration for several ghost and horror stories that I wrote (and hid) as a child. A twisted wreck, stricken with some unknown ailment, but somehow remaining alive year after tortured<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>year, it was a horror of a thing. Jet black branches, convoluted beyond belief, blackish green leaves and fruit that was born dead, falling almost immediately to the ground where a mushy, rotting carpet formed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hot breeze moved the decaying leaves and they dream-whispered audibly, crying for relief, just as I wrote all those years ago. I patted the dry trunk as I moved on, sending up a silent prayer that it would recover or die. This was a garden of life, a blooming, gorgeous abundance of wild fertility, and the weird and horrific quince tree seemed to me the story of life gone horribly wrong. It reached out and stroked a gnarled branch finger along my cheek as I walked away, and I felt the familiar old rush of affection. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grasped it for a brief sympathetic moment, stilling the pain and shushing the cries. But I know that there are many ways to scream.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat on the old swing, hearing its constant squeaks and groans, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and felt the familiar splinters of the old wooden seat digging in. The metal frame was burning hot from the summer sun, and as I dreamed that reality, I felt a weird comfort in the burn of the frame and the scratchy seat, and a passionate gratitude for this moment of reliving. From the vantage point of the swing, I could see it all. There was the pampas grass swaying in the breeze, the deadly beauty of the wisteria, looking so romantically lovely, and plotting its next strangulating attack on the abundantly blooming lilac, her rival in purple. </div><div class="MsoNormal">I dream-wandered through the huge and endlessly productive vegetable garden, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>lined with lavender bushes that were smothered with bees, the torment of my real summers. In dream-land I called for their attention and apologized for the few that were sacrificed to my hatred of school sport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A foot swollen to double its size could excuse me from pretty much anything. They buzzed a non-acceptance and watched me beadily as I passed by. </div><div class="MsoNormal">I drifted into an almost wakeful state, and forced myself back, finding myself in the front garden. I sat on the front fence with Mandy (Amanda now, but thatās not the way I feel her in my heart) and once more we sang Scarborough Fair as we sat in the sun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Young and beautiful in our hopes and dreams. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carefree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Artists and dreamers, both. </div><div class="MsoNormal">And I woke up satisfied and yearning, a child and an adult, still smelling the lilac and hearing the music and feeling the freedom. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The house itself doesnāt hold many of the joyous memories for me, but the garden is my heart.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Itās funny, but when the screaming quince tree was finally cut down, many, many years after it should have been, the garden was not the same anymore. It was too lush, too fertile, too alive, too one-sided. In the mind of a child of dreams and wild imaginings, the screaming quince maintained the balance, and I lost some of the intense passion I had for the garden. </div><div class="MsoNormal">When the quince appears in my dreams and trails its horribly blackened and brittle fingers down my face, I feel comforting and comforted, loved and loving, understanding and understood, and I welcome the sweet, rotting scent and deathly, twisted beauty.</div><div class="MsoNormal">God, I really must find a therapist!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-30405199782805748582012-01-26T16:10:00.001-08:002012-01-26T16:10:27.083-08:00All those little things<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Ok. Today, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have learned a little something about interpersonal communication and how to handle conflict. In theory anyway! ;o)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have learned a whole lot about American government ā one of the most freakinā complicated and involved subjects Iāve ever come across. >:o( <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have done a ton of laundry, worked out, knitted a few rows of a pretty cool scarf while watching Judge Judy, (do I want to change my major to criminal justice and work in the court system??) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>crocheted a new edge of a cool poncho thingy I found at Goodwill. :0)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have done my guitar practiceā¦can now play Scarborough Fair without 30 second pauses between chord changes, although still canāt hold strings down hard enough to get rid of that muted sound, especially with the finger I once stuck under a mower. (Really?? Youāre not supposed to do that?? Well, go figure!) I have vacuumed, removed a layer of dust from various surfaces, walked the dogs, watched two episodes of Family Guy, including my favorite (āthatās right, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmaladeā<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hahahahaha!!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have cooked a 4 oz steak and a cool mixture of peppers, onions, mushrooms and zucchinis without setting off the smoke alarm. I have written a paper, read a chapter of my textbook and dyed my roots. (Not that they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i> needed it, you understand, but ā¦. oh never mind!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my mind I have already started my next art project, courtesy of a very cool photo taken by Mike last year at Ogunquit. It is so summery and beachy ā it will hold the rest of the winter at armās length very nicely! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe Iāll actually put paint to canvas tomorrow!</div><div class="MsoNormal">Tipsy is sitting with me as usual, curled up and purring, and Iām ready to veg out and watch Project Runway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been a pretty good day. Yep, itās the little things, right??</div><div class="MsoNormal">Happy Australia Day, folks!!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045988192189583870.post-35343135626078216952012-01-05T10:55:00.000-08:002012-01-05T10:55:17.361-08:00You Don't Know Me<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KdQmsWr22zc/TwXwOe3ct6I/AAAAAAAAACo/_amLyRM20nY/s1600/me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KdQmsWr22zc/TwXwOe3ct6I/AAAAAAAAACo/_amLyRM20nY/s200/me.jpg" width="120" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So, this is 2012 which brings with it my 50th birthday!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As it approaches, I find myself in a contemplative mood, gazing back at the past and peeking cautiously into the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is next and what is next and what is next? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">Such a good kid. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quiet, dreamy, amenable young Lois, always practicing the calm and inscrutable face she still uses to this day to hide fires or pain inside, but the day-dreams belonged to a colorful character who stormed impatiently within, full of piss and vinegar and ready to take on the world. Dreaming of the day that she would finally change her ugly name to something musical and exotic, perhaps Isabella or Angelica, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>learn to ride a motorcycle and travel the world alone, meeting life head on in an inferno of dangers and passions and colors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny that one of the things that seemed so imperative to my freedom, was to throw out the oft heard rule that one should never wear blue and green together. In the wildest of my dreams my clothes mattered, and were predominantly blues and greens, comfortably blending, just as in nature, just as I knew they would. Even now, itās my favorite color blend, and embracing it can change the colors of the world around me, can change the face of a day.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I peeked at pictures in the National Geographic magazines in the library, and in an era where it was unheard of, I longed to pierce my nose, to tattoo my body, to dress in vibrant and exotic clothing. I yearned for color in my world, and waited impatiently for my own time.</div><div class="MsoNormal">My mother assures me that I used to say that all I wanted as an adult was to be a wife and mother. I donāt remember saying it, and I donāt remember feeling it, so it must have been an extension of the much practiced calm, inscrutable face, used often to throw people off the scent of my secret truth. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">I dropped out of school at 15, went to work full time, and dated Neil, a complete ass who my mother hated on sight. It had begun!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I felt the simmering passions build to a slow boil. At 16, and living alone in a tiny studio apartment, I ran a little crazy, and loved every wild and free moment of it. I saved money and dreamed of the travelling wild life that was surely just around the corner now . . .</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">And suddenly, I was a wife and mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With that calm and inscrutable face now as permanent as any tattoo, I attacked my new role with vigor, trading my dreams of exotic African travels and colorful body art for the terrifying responsibilities of decent parenting. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made mistakes, some small, some big, but they know I love them fiercely, and I hope thatās enough. That even now I would die for them, or kill for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told them to embrace an adventurous spirit, to do what felt right for them, but I think they have sometimes concerned themselves with how Iāll feel about it. I hope they donāt do that anymore. I hope they live the lives they feel in their hearts. And I hope they tell me, proudly, even if itās something not <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in my vision for them, and that will make my heart sing! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are the four lights of my life, and I have never regretted a single moment of those wonderful years, and I have a secret tattoo in my mindā¦</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">And now theyāre all off and away, living their lives, and even as I still worry for their happiness and safety, I am dreaming again. Not of Africa now; that feels a little too adventurous for my 49 year old spirit. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am restless in my soul for the things that I didnāt do, and not so certain what it is that I want now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In art and creation, I find some fire and passion, and my restless spirit rests easy awhile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet my staid and conservative studies are leading me down a road which has as its destination an administrative hell, and it makes my creative spirit take to the skies and fly, fly, fly away. . . </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">But I am doing the sensible, responsible thing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing that is the correct thing to do. The thing that lingers sternly and irrevocably at the edges of my mind and burns at my gut, and shrivels my soul. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">School starts up again on Tuesday and I will immerse myself in a math class and an interpersonal communications class. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must do the vacuuming today, and get rid of the film of dust I see on the TV. And I must go and buy some chicken and tomatoes at the Stop n Shop, and plan the healthy dinner that is a part of the 2012 resolution.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">And I will wear blue jeans and a green shirt and I will dream.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7